Grazie, Ibra

Cocky. Conceited. Arrogant. Just a few of the words commonly used to describe Zlatan Ibrahimovic. But are they actually accurate? For example here is one definition: ar·ro·gant /ˈarəgənt/ adj.: Having or revealing an exaggerated sense of one's own importance or abilities. You see, those words describe someone with an exaggerated sense of his importance or abilities. But I offer you this challenge to the typical view of Ibra: Have you ever considered that he actually is as important and talented as he thinks he is?

Perhaps his self-image is not actually exaggerated?

Chelsea 0, Milan 1: Champions of Miami

In a hot and steamy match that pitted the Champions League winners with the team whose tactics they used to knock Barcelona out of the Champions League, Milan proved one thing: when it comes to a meaningless friendly in a country whose football IQ is in the negative numbers, we can pull it together and find the back of the net. Once. Which makes us Champions of Miami!! (insert Queen’s “We Are the Champions” here.)

Urby does it again for us in the preseason

Chelsea vs. Milan Preview: Miami Vice

Welcome to the U.S.A. boys! If this weren’t a friendly, we’d probably all be really, really drunk right now, anticipating the worst with our incredibly depleted squad facing off against the European Champions. But it’s just a friendly. And especially considering that these Blues just lost to the MLS All-Stars on Wednesday, I think we can lose the socks, put on some shades and relax, Miami style.

Christian Maldini with his father, Paolo, relaxing in Miami just last week
(photo courtesy of @ChrisMaldini)

Does Milan Still Have Quality?

With the tumult of this summer, the big question seems to be: does Milan still have quality? One need only look on the arms of the players to answer this question. That’s right, the WAGS of Milan. Since I gave the girls their PFW last summer, and everyone had to endure the Men of Milan in May, this one is for you, boys. I’ve gathered a collection of the wives and girlfriends of the current Milan players. You can decide for yourself if there is still quality.

Who says Allegri doesn't believe in youth? He's dating 24 year-old
ex-playmate Gloria Patrizi

Schalke 0, Milan 1: Take the Money and Run

In another season-defining, life or death performance featuring all of our best players (sarcasm detector: level of sarcasm extremely high,) Milan actually won this preseason friendly vs. Bundesliga’s Schalke. Despite having lost 12 players this summer and also the trust in our management, it is Schalke that must feel like they got robbed twice over – on the pitch and from the pocket. With the genius clause in Huntelaar’s contract, Milan are to receive all of the proceeds from ticket sales, which have to be pretty nice considering over 30,000 tickets were sold. So let’s just take the money and run.

Urby FTW

Schalke vs. Milan Friendly: Game On!

Even if we may not even see our old friend Huntelaar  today due to his having been called up for the Netherlands for Euros, I wanted to dedicate this song and this gameday post to him:

Stop Me if You Think That You’ve Heard This One Before

So tomorrow Milan head to Gelsenkirchen, specifically to Veltins Arena. Why on earth would we do that, you ask? Why, to play FC Schalke 04, of course. Why on earth would we do that, you ask? Why, to play another meaningless friendly, of course. Another friendly, another opponent, and another chance for us to see how our squad of two weeks is gelling. At least this time we might have Cassano, Nocerino, Montolivo, and Abate back. That is something.

It's a club. With fans. And we're playing them.

Guest Post: Trofeo TIM Review

Another treat for you today, as the fabulous Sam Lewis, Deputy Editor of Forza Italian Football, reviews the tournament for us...

So this evening welcomed the TIM cup, that most illogical of preseason tournaments - made up of teams usually without their best players, and mainly without a care. Milan turned up on paper as the weakest side of the three, Inter benefiting from their large South American contingent who weren't picked for their nations Olympics - Guarin, Coutinho, Zanetti, Cambiasso, Milito and new signing Rodrigo Yes-I'm-still-a-Padawan Palacio, whilst Juve benefiting from their frightening squad depth, missing out on the players that competed in Euro 2012 (and the core of the Scudetto winning run) but still looking a strong outfit, able to field Matri, Vidal, Asamoah, Caceres and ex-Inter defender Lucio, among others.

Depressed blog post 101 - how to write a preview while avoiding optimism

As a special treat today, my former co-blogger, Jovan, guest previews the Trofeo TIM tournament for us....

This is what it looked like when we cared about the Trofeo TIM

Mercato Madness Mad Libs: Berlusconi and Galliani Edition

Have you ever played the game Mad Libs? Where there is a story written, but with random words removed? Those words are replaced with random words from unwitting helpers who are simply given a part of speech or other clue. The results are inevitably hilarious. Seeing as how we could all use a laugh right about now, I wrote this up and then asked my followers on Twitter to come up with the random words for me. I hope you enjoy the results….

Messages for a Mercenary

From the day of his arrival his departure was imminent. Would we get one year? Two? Or if we were lucky, three? Earlier in the summer, I wrote about the importance of keeping Ibra. Everyone but Berlusconi and Galliani knew that keeping Thiago Silva was important. But if our Mary Poppins of Football™ could just stay one more year, then I felt confident in our chances at remaining competitive. But apparently, some poor little French team needed him more than us, so we are going to have to manage without our favorite badass Swedish striker. Again, a proper farewell will be forthcoming, but for today let’s send him our gratitude.

What’s On Boateng’s Head?

This past week has been so crazy. With the loss of Thiago Silva and the impending loss (likely to be announced today) of Ibra, I have taken solace that at least we haven’t really lost any players with the entertaining hairstyles. And the burning question that has been on my mind for over a week now pertains to Kevin Prince Boateng. He showed up at training last week with I don’t even know what to call it, and so I have been meaning to ask What’s On Boateng’s Head?

Riddle Me This

There are some strange things being said amidst all of this madness. People seem to be focusing only on the monetary side of things or only on the player side of things. But take a step back and look at the whole picture. The pieces just don’t fit. And I don’t understand how people can angrily speak of the betrayal from management and in the same breath say “I trust in Galliani.” The pieces just don’t fit. Or the piece about “rebuilding” and “having a plan.” If our management had a plan, why would they have ever put themselves in this situation? If our management was capable and transparent, why would our parent company have ever done anything to warrant a €564m fine? The pieces just don’t fit.

"Do you have a plan" "No, I thought you had a plan."

Letters to Thiago

Regardless of the anger and the blame, I have to come to grips with the fact that I have seen Thiago Silva’s last match in a Milan uniform. I will write a proper farewell post in the future, but right now it still hurts too much. The hurt will not heal soon, but for today, I wanted to be grateful. Grateful for everything he did for Milan on the pitch, all of the good memories I have. So I thought maybe we could all share messages to him, sharing our favorite memories, videos, pics, whatever we’d like to say. It can be long or short, whatever you want. So I’ll go ahead and start after the break…

Loyalty

At times like this, a lot of fans are calling into question the loyalty of other fans who lose interest in the club when our superstars all leave. Personally, those fans might be the smartest of all of us. After all, there’s a reason they call it longsuffering. But truly, to each their own, and I don’t have energy to worry about other people’s commitment levels. But there are a couple of people whose loyalty I would like to question. They both won titles with Milan, and now they’ve betrayed us and the best interests of the club. No, not Berlusconi and Galliani, I condemned them in an earlier post. And no, it’s not Thiago Silva or Ibrahimovic, I condemned them in the last post. No, today’s targets are the incomparable duo of Leonardo and Carlo Ancelotti.

Public enemy number one.

It’s the End of the World As We Know It

The saying that we Milan fans bleed red and black wasn’t an open invitation for our management to rip out our beating hearts and stab us in the back just to see if our blood truly is red and black. But looking around at the ocean of red and black blood drained from our many tormented bodies tells me they at least proved their point. Luckily, despite the atrocities, we will all live to see another Milan game.

Who’s Afraid of PSG?

I’m not afraid of Leo, Carletto, or PSG. I’m afraid of their money. But it is not their fault. If they had asked for Thiago Silva or Ibra last year, they would have been met with laughter. We had just won our 18th Scudetto, our first title in a while, and both players were considered fundamental to a second title run. But that was then.

"Not enough Serie A players. Bring me Zlatan!"

A Picture Perfect Day

So in case you missed out on all of the excitement, yesterday was the first day back at Milanello for most of our squad. They lunched, the met the fans, there was a press conference with Galliani, Allegri, and Ambrosini, our newest arrivals were presented, the squad trained for the first time together, and then had dinner. All in a day's work. 

Benvenuto a Milan Acerbi, Traorè, e Constant

The Battle for Asgard

If you like Norse Mythology, or if you like Marvel Comics, you’ll know that the gods Thor and Loki are brothers who are also enemies, dwelling in Asgard, home of the gods. But did you know that Milan have their own Thor and Loki this season? And that they will possibly be battling for the same starting spot? It’s not exactly a battle of good and evil, but it just may feel like the battle for Asgard.

Will the gods work together to avenge our poor midfield performances of last year?

Riccardo Montolivo: Holy Man

It was prophesied that he would be a great footballer some day. When he was 7 years old, Milan attempted to sign him, but it was not time for the prophecy to be fulfilled. He was heavily courted by Milan last year, contributing to his falling out with Fiorentina fans and simultaneously labeled as “Mr. X” by Milan hopefuls. But again, it was not to be. When rumors leaked that his contract had been deposited and he would definitely be coming to Milan on a free transfer, for Milan fans it seemed like the Rapture was finally here. Twenty years of waiting, and the prophecy had finally arrived. Benvenuto, Riccardo.

The twenty year-old prophecy is about to come true

Bring on the Noce

Every superhero has a story. This is the story of Antonio Nocerino. His incredible feats for club and country have exposed the superhero that he is. But he wasn’t always a known superhero. He wasn’t bitten by a radioactive spider, transformed in some laboratory by some secret government experiment, nor did he build himself some super suit to do his every bidding. No, he was born amazing. But his story is much, much more painful. You see, he is a Juventus youth product. (screams and horror music here.)

The one and only bearded superhero and goal magnet

Survival Kits

The transfer window officially opened up yesterday, but for Milan, “the way is shut.” So with little to discuss, other than Acerbi reportedly becoming official today, let’s spend a minute to check out the newly released Milan away and third kits. We certainly need something to talk about after the death by tiki taka and while our rivals shop til they drop in the mercato like a certain red and black team used to do…

FTW