Palermo 2, Milan 2: Horror Show at the Renzo Barbera

How many posts must I write and use any form of decent vocabulary in relation to Allegri? He has gone well beyond questionable tactician or provincial manager. No, when I saw tonight’s lineup, psychotic madman were the words that came to mind. And the results show, too. We could have easily dominated this match, kept a clean sheet, and maybe even scored three or four goals. But with the formation and lineup he fielded, we were lucky to come away with the draw. Kind of like in the Charlie Brown Halloween special, when the other kids talk about what candy they got, and he says "I got a rock." Only we're the blockheads, and Allegri is handing out the rocks. I guess it really is Halloween tomorrow, based on how we played tonight.

Hooray, our boys salvaged a point!

Palermo vs. Milan: Game On!

Palermo-Milan Preview: Gasping for Draws

Tuesday’s island destination takes our boys to the land of Zamparini, where crazy is a way of life and coaches grow on trees. Enter manager Gian Piero Gasperini, who replaced Giuseppe Sannino, whom Zamparini let go because he’d only achieved one point in the first three games. But Gasperini hired on at the right time, as Zamparini realized the error (or at least the expense) of his ways, swore he would not fire Gasperini, and then put someone else in charge. (Hey, I said he was crazy, not stupid.)

Gasperini: Zamparini's chosen one?

Milan 1, Genoa 0: Birthday Revenge

It must be a bit conflicting to face your former team. Even more so on your birthday. But scoring against your former team on your birthday must feel like the ultimate irony. And how would our favorite Egyptian-Italian player manage it? Like a pro. Despite scoring the only goal of the game vs. Genoa on his birthday, he kept it classy and didn’t celebrate. Which only proves that he is truly Milan, through and through. Buon Compleanno Faraone!

The birthday boy schooled his ex-team

Milan vs. Genoa: Game On!

Milan-Genoa Preview: Can We Wear Your Shirts?

The last time Genoa came to Milan, they had just come off of being humiliated by their fans, who made them hand over their shirts, saying they weren’t worthy to wear them.  This time, they are 10th on the table, and we are under fire, sitting in 15th, but only on goal differential. And despite narrowly escaping relegation last season, Preziosi’s standards are apparently much higher, having just fired Di Canio in favor of Delneri, as Genoa lost the lead in just 3 matches and subsequently lost those matches. Meanwhile, Milan have lost five league matches as well as our Champions League match vs. Málaga midweek. And yet we still cling to our coach as if he was our lifeboat out of this Tsunami that management put us in this summer. Too bad we can’t wear Genoa’s shirts instead. With a new coach and 5 spots above us in the table, it’s funny how things change so much in such a short time.

Genoa? Genoa who? I only wear the red and black.

Champions League - Málaga 1, Milan 0: Spanish Lessons

I have studied several languages. Spanish, oddly, is not one of them, despite the fact that my father is a Spanish Teacher. But tonight I felt like I got schooled in the Spanish… schooled by a bunch of Los Boquerones (the anchovies.) I can’t even imagine how our boys must feel, as it seemed like they put forward a valiant effort, only to fail yet again. Or how Allegri must feel, knowing everyone in their right mind wants him gone, yet the people in charge of making that decision are no longer in the category with the sane. One thing is for sure, Spanish lessons hurt. Bad.

Do anchovies bite? Because this hurt.

Champions League – Málaga vs. AC Milan: Game On!

Champions League Preview - Málaga vs. Milan: The Turn of the Tide?

“I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day... This day we fight!”

--“Aragorn” in The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

"Zlatanagorn" leads the troops into battle

Lazio 3, Milan 2: Nobody Broke the Duck

As of this writing (and notice I wrote it as quickly as possible so it would still be valid) Pato played nearly 45 minutes for Milan and did not sustain an injury. That might be the brightest spot in this match, I’m not sure. Certainly Lazio take away a deserved three points at home, and Milan sink deeper into the mire that is our season.

Pato and all of his muscles are still in one piece. Better than a win?

Lazio vs. Milan: Game On!

Lazio-Milan Preview: Beware of Eagle Talons

Anyone who is expecting Milan to go to the Stadio Olimpico this weekend and convincingly win by this point in the season seriously needs to consider getting their head checked. Of course, we all want that, and there’s always an outside chance that it could happen, but let’s be realistic: coming away with a point from this fixture would be like a victory.

It's not the bird, its the talons

What Are the Odds?

After an already injury-plagued beginning of the season, news that El Shaarawy had picked up a knock to his knee over the weekend while on international duty was discouraging. But followed by the news of Robinho being out ten more days due to a thigh strain acquired in training at Milanello (without even having come back from injury,) I think that there is now a general resignation amongst Milan fans that we will suffer this injury plague yet again this season. Yes, the same plague that saw our players miss 307 matches in Serie A due to injury in only one year. And thus I suggest we change the saying, “Il club piú titolato al mondo” (the club with the most titles in the world) to “Il club piú infortunato al mondo” (the club with the most injuries in the world.) No one can touch us on that one.

Our true claim to fame

Bojan Krkić Pérez: From Barca with Love

The player mostly known as “Bojan” (because that’s what happens when you play at Barca, you get reduced to one name) has almost everything stacked against him. First of all, he’s ex-Barca. Second of all, he’s on loan from Roma. Third of all, he looks like he should be in a boy band, not on a football pitch. And most recently, he chose his jersey number based on his age. It can be hard to take someone seriously with all of this going against him. But if you look beyond the artificial-looking obvious details, there’s a little something more to him than a boyish face and a history of playing for clubs I don’t like. Maybe this loan deal is more than meets the eye.

Bojan came to Milan with big dreams amidst so much uncertainty

The Prodigal Son: A Fairy Tale?

There once was a footballer, let’s call him Zlatan Ibrahimovic, or “Ibra” for short. He was a wanderer, kind of a Mary Poppins of Football™. He spent anywhere from 1-3 years at each club, blessing them with his awesomeness. That is, until he came to a club that we’ll call “Milan.” Something was different about this club. His awesomeness was a perfect fit, and he and his family were very happy there. He made it clear that he wanted to stay beyond his average of two years, and even obtained the promise of the evil emperor’s advisor that he would not be banished.

Had the Mary Poppins of Football™ left too soon?

Worshipping in the House of the Devil

Before the derby on Sunday, I took the opportunity to attend services… er, I mean take the tour of the San Siro. It is like the Mecca of Milan fandom, or at least it was for me. And although I had seen pictures and footage of it many times, nothing prepared me for the religious experience I found there.

The sacred temple of Milan fandom

Nigel De Jong: Fear Factor

He’s fearless. A defensive midfielder with great passing skills, but no fear. Taking on opponents of every size and ability with the same intensity and drive. Milan fans rejoiced when they heard he was coming. Finally, a quality signing this summer. In a position we desperately needed. And although, according to Allegri, he is still acclimating to Milan, he has already proven himself worthy of the Milan jersey. But with a reputation that gives our midfield a Fear Factor.

Thumbs up for you, too! Welcome!

Milan 0, Inter 1: It Hurts Even Worse In Person

I had been dreaming of watching our boys play at the San Siro for so very long. And I had saved and planned to get there. When the schedule came out this summer, all of the stars aligned so I could be at the San Siro tonight for il Derby della Madonnina. So I was convinced that maybe, just maybe they could pull one off for me. But the biggest star of all did not align, and I have to confess, it hurts even worse in person.

The temple of Milan (also known as the Temple of Doom)

Milan vs. Inter: Game On!

Milan vs. Inter Preview: Samuele and Alice Need You

You may or may not remember that last season, a pathetic Interista child called Filippo displayed a banner which begged his team to win lest he should be mocked at school, as their record was atrocious. Despite having been defeated by this atrocious team in the derby recently, Milan were quite the opposite, prompting an adorable duo called Samuele and Alice to hold up the following sign asking the to keep winning so that they could make fun of Filippo at school. Well now the tables have turned a little bit, only at least Milan have an excuse for our overall poor form, we lost half our team this summer, including our best players. But still, Samuele and Alice need our help, or that snot-nosed little Filippo will be mocking them at school.

Poor little Samuele and Alice, they need some street cred!

Champions League Review: Zenit 2, Milan 3: For Keeps

Zenit probably looked at this fixture drooling. Milan drew with Anderlecht in their first Champions League match, we had a poor league start, and really no “star” players. Whereas they were undefeated in 16 home Champions League matches and have the massive Hulk and the fierce Witsel. But there was one think they didn’t count on, and his name is Christian Abbiati. Or as my good friend P3trarch likes to call him, “Captain Milan.” And true to that superhero name, our captain on the night was like the Captain America of comic book fame, our own super soldier. And he played this one for keeps.

Not today, Zenit boy. Captain Milan is here to save the day

Champions League – Zenit vs. Milan: Game On!

Champions League Preview - Zenit vs. Milan: Blue Freeze

Ever since the Champions League Draw at the end of August, there has been a name that freezes my blood cold whenever I hear it: Zenit St. Petersburg. And just because they lost their first match 3-0 to Malaga doesn’t help it, either, it just makes me fear Malaga, too. I don’t know if it’s Spaletti’s creepy facial hair, or the fact that they used their bottomless money pit to “reinforce” with Axel Witsel and Hulk at the end of the transfer market, but the forecast for Milan is not very good.

€100 million duo

Allegri’s Report Card

Much has been written about Allegri this season and many have called for his sacking while others defend him staunchly. But for today, I wanted to get a consensus from all of you as to where you rate him. Consider his tenure, the Scudetto winning season, the Super Coppa win, the season that injuries stole from us, this summer’s “transition” all the way up through the match at Parma.

A manager under fire