Oprah’s
influence was strong again this match. But rather than yellow cards, this time her
disciples got goals instead…. “You
get a goal! And you get a goal! Eve-ry-body gets a goal!!!” It was a
great day to be a Milan fan, I wish it could always be like this, it’s much
more fun than losing or even drawing. Although it wasn’t such a great day to be
Dramé, I am hoping for nothing serious and a speedy and complete recovery from
his head injury. So other than that and those absolutely hideous Chievo kits,
the Goalfest 2012 was a very pleasant surprise.
The
green and yellow flying donkeys came out kicking, which earned Dramé his yellow
card in the 5th minute for a foul on Constant. In the 11th, Urby, Montolivo,
and Pazzini lined up to take a free kick. One of these things is not like the
other, and so it was Pazzini who took the kick, which was blocked. But then,
suddenly, in the 16th, Urby scored!! 1-0 Milan. Unfortunately, just as
suddenly, Chievo returned the favor with a Pelissier goal, not 2 minutes later.
1-1. Conceding this goal showed two things: El Shaarawy is still in contention
to be our best defender, and Zapata is not.
In
the 26th, Abate sent in a nice cross, but Urby, who was offside anyway, didn’t
quote manage to get to it. Then, after a free kick cleverly passed back to a
wide open Mexes, he kicked the ball like he was copying my golf swing (whiff!)
In the 31st, Hatemaj fired a very dangerous looking bullet, but luckily for us,
his accuracy was just off. In the 35th, Thereau took a dangerous shot across
the goal, but Abbiati reminded us of how much we missed him with a great save.
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| It must have been the new boots. |
In
the 36th minute, I watched a thing of sheer beauty: Milan on the fast break
passed it beautifully building up to Montolivo’s second Milan goal, assisted by
Urby. 2-1 Milan. And four minutes later, Thereau giving us a heart attack at
the other end, but Abbiati was there again. And one minute after that, Bojan
netted his first goal in the Rossoneri. 3-1 Milan. El Shaarawy showing the sweet
moves in the 43rd. That was contrasted by our faithful captain’s Sky Jousting™
in the 44th. Hmmm.
The
first notable thing of the second half
was a yellow card for Guana. And then back to Ambrosini’s Sky Jousting™
attempts. But the scariest part of the match happened in the 57th, when Abate
kicked a ball almost point blank that hit Dramé in the side of the head.
Someone noted that it looked as though he was unconscious before he even hit
the ground. And the match was delayed for some time as they tried repeatedly to
revive him. It was reported that he was only unconscious for 40 seconds and had
come around and was going to the hospital for precautionary testing. But he
seemed unconscious for much longer than that, and seemed only semi-conscious at
best when he was finally stretchered off of the pitch with a neck brace on. I
truly hope it is nothing and that he is completely healthy and functioning
right away. And Abate… the boy doesn’t know his own strength!!
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| Today our little Boy Band became a real footballer |
After
Chievo subbed Stojan on for the injured Dramé, I noticed that Zapata had a
really nice tackle in the 64th as the last defender. I guess I’ll keep him. And
in the 65th, Pazzini gave Ambrosini a spectacular run for his money in the Sky
Jousting™. I wonder what Robinho will have to say about that. Allegri pulled
Urby off in the 68th for Boateng. He’d better be resting him for Málaga, Urby
had another spectacular game. Don’t get me started about the Prince.
It
seemed as if both El Shaarawy and Pazzini were going to go home empty-handed,
but Oprah isn’t like that. In the 75th, El Shaarawy solidified his spot at the
top of the Serie A scoring chart with his 8th Serie A goal this season on a
sweet assist by Urby. 4-1 Milan. Allegri, with his reward for spectacular
performances on the day, pulled Montolivo off for De Jong. At least De Jong is
a good player. Unlike Boateng, who entered the Sky Jousting™ competition with
quantity of horrifyingly bad shots, not quality.
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| Boy Pharaoh? Try King of Serie A. |
In
the 86th, Constant, showing some very fancy footwork, sent a ball through one
defender’s legs and and then shot around another, only to have his beautiful
moves blocked. But he played one hell of a game at left back. And to those of
you who thought we were stuck with Antonini or playing De Sciglio out of
position were our only options at that position, think again. Another game or
two like this, and I think we’ve finally solved the game of left back
roulette™.
Speaking
of De Sciglio, he came on for Abate in the 86th. Yes, Allegri used his third
sub, and it was even before the 90th minute. Oh, and if you thought the game
was over, think again. In the third minute of stoppage time, Pazzini finally
got his goal, with an assist by the capocannoniere, El Shaarawy. 5-1 Milan.
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| Pazzini ends his dryspell in stoppage time |
That’s
right, 5-1 Milan. With five different scorers. Maybe that ritiro paid off after all. Or maybe all of Allegri’s gambling with
players and formations finally paid off. Or maybe Chievo were that bad. With
those uniforms, who could blame them? I really don’t care why, only that we are
going into our most treacherous stretch of the season, so we really needed this
confidence boost.
I
can’t even pick a man of the match, there were so many great performances. El
Shaarawy… there are simply no words. He is as magnificent as his hair is
horrifying. Bojan proved today that he does indeed share some common genes with
Lionel Messi, and I’ll be damned if Allegri has the stupidity to ever put
Boateng in at trequartista ever again when we have Bojan to fill that role. In
fact, Boateng’s shooting card needs to be pulled entirely. But that’s beside
the point. Urby was mesmerizing, and Montolivo, especially in conjunction with
these other great displays, was simply phenomenal.
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| Allegri is not happy that his plans to completely undermine Milan were thwarted |
I
don’t usually care for goalfests, but each one of these goals washed away some
of the pain of recent matches and planted the seeds of hope of avoiding
relegation after all. We need to be careful not to get too excited lest our
hopes be dashed once again by Allegri’s tomfoolery, but for today, a blessed
victory. Three points, a glimmer of hope, and a whole lotta goals. Thank you,
Goalfest 2012.
This post inspired by the music of
the Foo Fighters
Our next match is
Champions League Group Stage
Milan vs. Málaga
Tuesday, November 6th • 20:45 CET (2:45)