Parma
used to produce amazing players. Some of its alumni include Fabio Cannavaro, Gianluigi
Buffon, Hernan Crespo, Lilian Thuram, Sebastian Frey, and even Daniele Bonera.
Oh, wait… well, mostly amazing players. Anyway, now it has become more of a
rehabilitation club, taking in the poor, tired, weary, and disgraced and giving
them playing time at the midtable level until they are sent to pasture. Which
is why Juventus legend Amauri joined the club, as well as my personal favorite,
Cristian Zaccardo. So in January, Milan, looking to improve the club in the way
that a woman having a midlife crisis gets a little too much botox, made a deal
to exchange Mesbah and Strasser for the infamous ex-Italian international. As
if that weren’t strange enough, it is our ex Milan legend Roberto Donadoni
leading the team into battle. Strange bedfellows, indeed.
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| Donadoni thinking that if he can just humiliate Allegri, maybe he can be at Milan again |
So we are playing on Friday, and we may be a little distracted by a certain looming Champions League fixture next Wednesday. And while Allegri will undoubtedly tell us that everyone is completely focused on Parma, we all know he can’t even keep the team focused long enough to defend a set piece. Parma, meanwhile, will be 100% focused on earning 3 points at the San Siro. And if Mesbah and Strasser get to take the pitch, they may even have a little bit of revenge on their minds.
Donadoni
may be Rossonero, but as a rival coach, nothing beats taking three points from
your old club in their house. I can’t imagine he’ll go easy on us. After all,
we’ll still have four days to recuperate before Barcelona. That’s why I really
think he’ll use his most lethal weapon in his arsenal: The Mesbah. Having never
been given a fair shot by the insidiously evil Allegri, Mesbah already made his
Parma debut on Sunday with a 12 minute performance worthy of a starting spot
for this match. And having been discarded like an old rag by Milan, I really
think he is ready to show us what we are missing. And of course, Parma
revitalized Giovinco’s career, so I’m sure he is looking to make this move
temporary before he is transferred to a team like Barcelona or Manchester
United, and the first step to his dreams is to perform well against Milan.
While
I am sure that Donadoni regrets not starting The Mesbah in their goalless draw
vs. Genoa on Sunday, I doubt he’ll make that mistake again. His starting lineup
was Pavarini; Lucarelli, Biabiany, Gobbi; Amauri, Mariga, Parolo, Benalouane,
Paletta; Belfodil, and Valdes. While Parma are missing Galoppa, Santacroce, and
Mirante all out to long-term injuries, he should have a full squad otherwise,
including Mesbah and Strasser.
Allegri,
on the other hand, has the opportunity to start two ex-Parma center backs in
Bonera and Zaccardo. But if he does that, I might actually kill myself. Rumors
are that Zaccardo will make his debut. And since he is not young, or a “player
for the future,” I think Allegri might just put his faith in him. Unless he
says something about Allegri in the media, of course, then he’ll go into the
vault and be forced to go on loan or transfer. Just ask Urby. Anyway, I assume
Allegri will use him since he is not on our Champions League list, in order to
rest someone for Messifiresstorm 2013™, also known as Barcelona.
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| Maybe your shushing worked at Parma, but it won't work on me |
The
good news is that Constant trained with the team yesterday, which hopefully
indicates that he’ll be fit for Friday. That gives Allegri a choice in
fullbacks, and again the opportunity to rest someone if he so desires. I have
no idea what he desires as far as our midfield is concerned. Ambrosini is
suspended, but Montolivo will be back. With an in-form Flamini (something I
never thought I’d say, but it’s true,) there is only one spot left to contend,
and I would hope that it would be a choice between Boateng and Nocerino, but
again, I have no idea what Allegri will do.
I
think everyone expects our Triple Threat™ to start every match. And they could,
I suppose. But with the rumors of El Shaarawy having a nagging knee problem,
and having already lost one young phenom to Dr. Kevorkian’s MilanLab, maybe
Allegri will finally learn and give the guy a rest. Which will, of course,
cause panic for Berlusconi, as we no longer have a 12-deep bench of overpriced
strikers to draw from. But Bojan or Robinho could easily play a match instead
of the Pharaoh, or I think Pazzini will be available again to sub on for Super
Mario or rotate the others around.
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| Mesbah holding his new shirt like a dirty diaper But he'll wear it proudly on Friday if he can get revenge on Allegri |
All
I know is that Thursday night, I am likely to sleep restlessly and possibly
even have nightmares. If Strasser makes his Parma debut against us, we have
something to fear. But if Donadoni releases the Mesbah, it could turn into our
worst nightmare. I’m sure there is a saying somewhere about keeping strange
bedfellows, but I’m sure whomever coined it never had Zaccardo on their team,
nor Mesbah potentially facing off against them. While realistically, we really
need three points from this match, I am simply hoping to survive the ordeal.
Strange bedfellows, indeed.
This post inspired by the music of Suicidal
Tendencies
Milan vs. Parma
Friday, February 15 • 20:45 CET (2:45pm EST)
This match is being shown LIVE on BeIn Sport and RAI in the U.S.
(check comments section prior to the match for stream links)