Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Poachers Conservation Foundation: Save the Poachers


Last year, I wrote about an endangered species: The Poacher. It’s too late to save Pippo’s poaching career, we can only hope that he is now instilling his incredible desire for goalscoring into the next generation. But it’s hard to know if he can pass on that which seems more innate than learned. Still, there are other poachers now who need your help. In this world of “Modern Football,” the poacher is becoming extinct. You can help save our poachers now.


Sunday, April 28, 2013

Milan 4, Catania 2: Live to Play Another Day


With precious few games left, and Fiorentina meeting us point for point in the race for Champions League qualification, this game had a certain do or die quality to it. Allegri’s press conference was a lot more like the ones he held prior to mid-November, and it was clear that he was feeling the pressure (even if it was not clear as to whether or not he knew what to do about it.) The score perhaps does not show just how close we came to an opposite result, but in the end, we did get the result, and that is the most important thing. So we live to play another day, our Champions League dreams still alive.

A brace for the poacher, who saved the day

Friday, April 26, 2013

Milan-Catania Preview: Five For the Money


Massimiliano Allegri has us right where he wants us: on the edge of a cliff. We have five games to ensure our Champions League qualification, or we plunge off of the competitive and financial cliff into a Europa League spot. The first season, we hung on to win the Scudetto, Last year we choked and gave it up to Juventus. So how will this season end? We have five precious games to write our future. And it all starts when gli Elefanti come to town on Sunday.

Thank heavens Balotelli is back

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Flashback: Champions League Glory


This week saw a shift in European power that has been building for the last couple of years. It is almost certain that there will be an all-German Champions League final for the first time to be played at Wembley on the 25th of May, dethroning the domination of Barcelona, who made it to at least the semi-finals for the past five years. Ironically, AC Milan will be playing Ajax in a glorified friendly in Beijing on May the 25th. But it wasn’t always this way. Let’s look back at the 2002-2003 Champions League final, when two Italian teams faced off for the first time, also in England…



Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Podcast: I’ll Have the Flamini Special™


The draw against second place Napoli was followed up by a loss to the first place team, Juve. This brought our 14 game undefeated streak to a grinding halt, and more importantly, has left Fiorentina just one point behind us, risking our Champions League chances for next year. So we are left with five matches in the season and more pressure than ever to win all of them. But Champions League or not, at least we know we’ll have the Flamini Special™.

What happens when you order a Flamini Special™

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Juventus 1, Milan 0: “Leave Milan Alone!”


Taking a note from Juve’s Drughi this week, and doing my best Chris Crocker impersonation, I decided that rather than “moan” about the match, I would take you inside my dark and twisted mind and simply share my notes from this one. I am also including a few of the comments I made on the blog (in red) and a few tweets (in blue) that I made during the game, too.

My lawyers have also asked me to remind you that these notes were made with a killer migraine and under the stress of sharing a couch with the enemy. As these are just notes and comments, I cannot be legally held responsible for anything said here. Also, no Uruk-hai, child-size players, or husbands were harmed in the compilation of these notes.

So they used a rainbow as their anti-racism message?
Juve's PR department is a little behind the times, don't you think?
(and yet this explains so much...)

Friday, April 19, 2013

Juventus vs. Milan Preview: Taste the Pain


The match of the year is here, where the number one team in the league hosts the team that started off the season in relegation trouble and has made an extraordinary comeback to sit four points clear on either side in third place. Otherwise known as Juventus vs. Milan. What makes it the match of the year is the bitter acrimony of last season and also the fact that Milan won the initial fixture this season due to a controversial penalty awarded us. Also, that Milan currently enjoy a 14 match unbeaten streak, the best in Serie A this season, while Juventus enjoy an 11 point lead at the top of the table. So win, draw, or lose, someone is going to taste the pain.

Isla no handball? Muntari no goal. All is fair in love and football

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Smack Talk Week™


What started out as an amazingly peaceful rivalry in our family has become something more blood, less sport. For a few times a year, when Milan face off against Juventus, ours is a couch divided. And for the week before each fixture, it can get a little ugly around here. Especially with an ongoing score of Milan 3 (me + the two kids) and Juventus 1 (“Sposato al Nemico,” or “married to the enemy.”) It doesn’t help his cause that he is actually more “Calma Calma Calma” and I am more “Dai Dai Dai.” In our house, Milan always wins. But as tensions between the two clubs rose last year, so did the stakes. And what used to be a bit of sporting ribbing has become the bloodthirsty Smack Talk Week ™.

This picture never gets old

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Times Like These


When tragedy strikes, whether near or far, it causes us to step back and look at our priorities. At times like these, what seemed important before now seems trivial, things we took for granted before suddenly gain so much more importance. Here in the United States yesterday, there was a tragedy that directly affected athletes. If only all sport was immune to tragedy. Yet it affects football, too. Like a year ago Sunday, when we lost Piermario Morosini on the pitch. Or more recently, the tragic and sudden loss of Milan Channel’s Claudio Lippi. I never know quite what to say in the wake of tragedy, words never seem to capture the range of emotions and can certainly never bring back those who are lost. But I have learned, over the course of a life filled with much loss, that taking that first step toward normalcy is the most important part of the healing process. And I have also learned in times like these to turn to things that truly give me joy, like football. I like to think those who have moved on would want it that way.

Part of a banner Sunday which read "Only those who are forgotten die..."

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Milan 1, Napoli 1: Nobody Wins


I should have seen it going into this match, it was written in the stars. An epic battle of the two teams vying for second place, but Milan missing their superstar due to suspension. The middle game of three tough and very important games for Milan. With a tribute to a beloved Milan journalist kicking off the match, it was the perfect time for Milan to underperform. So why change things up?

"Even when the sky is dark, the sun shines on San Siro"
A beautiful and fitting coreografia following the passing of Claudio Lippi

Friday, April 12, 2013

Milan-Napoli Preview: The Biggest Loser


The battle for the Scudetto is all but over, what remains to be seen is how many points Juventus will drop. Mathematically, it’s not impossible for them to let it go, but they’ve got a pretty good grip on it. So what is left for the rest of us to fight for? To see who can be the biggest loser, or second place. Currently, Napoli are in line for that title, and we are four precious points behind them. So Sunday is time for the big weigh in. Conceivably, the winner of Sunday’s match will likely become this season’s biggest loser.

El Shaarawy will try to weigh in on the outcome

Thursday, April 11, 2013

What Balotelli Didn’t Say


During the Fiorentina-Milan match, things got a little heated. The ref had not taken his medication nor his vision test, and the crowd got more than hostile, they engaged in racist chanting, too. The infamously volatile Balotelli must have struggled to keep it together, especially when he struggled to get shots off, too. Needless to say, he received an extra two match ban for reportedly calling an assistant ref an “idiot.” But people who were there are now testifying that he did not say that, only “ca##o guardi?” or “what the f##k are you looking at?” Good, for a minute there I thought he’d used profanity toward a ref.

**BLEEEEEEEEEEP**

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Podcast: When the Going Gets Tough


After a win against Chievo and then a heartbreaking draw to fourth place Fiorentina, now we face the second place and first place teams back to back. Which Milan will show up? Will we pass the test? What will Milan do when the going gets tough in the home stretch of this crazy season?

When the going gets tough, the tough stop everything

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Fiorentina 2, Milan 2: The Legend of Tagliavento


This game was meant to be epic. The battle for third place, a team in great form vs. a team returning to form. The latter had taken all three points in the first tie back in November. The former had acquired a new superstar in January. It was supposed to be worth watching at 3:30am. But I apparently watched the wrong channel, because instead, I saw a tragic documentary about a terrible referee. Yes, this match should have been called the Legend of Tagliavento.

"Two more sets of cards, please. I can only card one player at a time right now"

Friday, April 5, 2013

Fiorentina-Milan Preview: The Breaking Point


Our toughest series of matches in this final half of the season starts Sunday at lunchtime with a trip to Firenze to meet La Viola. Despite being down, they are not out, and they would desperately like our third place spot. Also, they beat us 3-1 back in November at the San Siro, so they definitely know how to punish us. Will Milan pull out the win, whether by our own volition or by our infamous luck? Or will this match finally be our breaking point?

Can Pazzini punish the Purple People more this time?

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Poll: What Would You Do For Milan?


As you read this, I am probably sitting on a beautiful Southern California beach with my family, the bluffs behind me, sun overhead, and the waves of the beautiful Pacific Ocean in front of me. And it’s only the beginning of April. Which is a big part of the reason I live here. I can do this most of the year. The weather here is exquisite, and I am just not very good at less temperate climates anymore. In fact, I get chills just thinking of anywhere that gets frost, let alone snow, in the winter. But there is one place I would leave this paradise for and endure freezing cold weather: Milano, home of my beloved AC Milan.

I would give up this paradise for only one thing... Milan

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

PFW: Women’s Commitment to Youth

Almost two years ago, I wrote about how to get a girl to like football. My theory was that PFW, or Porn for Women, was your best chance at success. Before you giggle like a schoolgirl, it is not porn in the way that men know it. It’s not dirty at all, although maybe you don’t tell your woman it’s called Porn for Women, that might damage your chances. Women are emotional, men are visual. So to appeal to a woman’s emotions, you should look to the youth.


Sorry, Bojan, for once you're actually not young enough.

Monday, April 1, 2013

Times are Changing


They say change is good, and after last summer, we never thought the changes at Milan could be this good, either. So I’m hoping that all of you will see the good in this change, too. After a little over two years of this blog as well as some time on the Italy World Cup Blog, I have been offered a job as a real writer!! Say hello to the newest member of the Goal.com family!

Change can hurt, but sometimes it's necessary