Massimiliano Allegri has us right where he wants us: on the
edge of a cliff. We have five games to ensure our Champions League
qualification, or we plunge off of the competitive and financial cliff into a
Europa League spot. The first season, we hung on to win the Scudetto, Last year
we choked and gave it up to Juventus. So how will this season end? We have five
precious games to write our future. And it all starts when gli Elefanti come to
town on Sunday.
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| Thank heavens Balotelli is back |
The good news is that Catania, having had a great run this
year and getting a look at European qualification, have been self-destructing
faster than Berlusconi after he lost his appeal and will be forced to pay his
wife €3m a month. Okay, maybe he hasn’t self-destructed yet, but he does have
to pay up. Anyway, Catania’s current form consists of a W-L-D-D-D. Two of those
draws were goalless, one at home to Cagliari, the other away to Chievo. And the
last one was the Sicilian Derby last week vs. Palermo, where Ilicic’ last
minute goal gave them the point and caused Catania to lose more than just the 2
points they would have had with the win.
You see, in order to completely self destruct, you need to
do more than just throw points away, you need a couple of your starters to get
suspended for fighting. Goalkeeper Mariano Andujar threw someone to the ground
and got some punches to his stomach in before being red carded. Giuseppe
Bellusci was apparently a little more discreet with his throat grab, as the ref
did not see nor card him. But luckily for him, there is video replay and a
sporting court. So both he and Andujar will be missing not just one, but three matches for their
misbehavior. Whereas Spolli will just miss our match for card accumulation.
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| Catania in full meltdown mode against Palermo |
With injuries to Sciacca, Terracciano, Ricchiuti, and
possibly Alvarez, poor Maran may have trouble finding a decent Argentinian squad
to meet Milan on Sunday. The eleven starters last week in the Derby were
Andujar; Spolli, Legrottaglie, Marchese, Bellusci, Almiron, Lodi, Izco;
Bergessio, Gomez, and Barrientos. They are still dangerous, with their top
scorer, Bergessio, on eight goals and four assists; Lodi always a double threat
with six goals and six assists, and even our 6 month ex in Legrottaglie, who,
as a center back, has two goals this season. That’s double Bonera’s career
tally. And, rumor has it that he literally threw a bible at a teammate
recently, so Bonera had really better
watch out.
Speaking of Bonera, it is rumored that he will start next to
Mexes, as Zapata is suspended. But worse than that, it is not clear yet whether
Abbiati’s calf will heal in time for him to start, leaving Amelia to start in
his place. Yes, Amelia, who conceded 2 goals to Folgore Caratese. And I don’t
know where Gabriel is. He did not play with the Primavera last weekend, his
last opportunity to do so this season. Nor was he on the bench against Juventus.
Leaving the possibility open for Primavera keeper Narduzzo to potentially be
the number two keeper on Sunday…. am I dreaming? It seems so surreal. Or maybe
Allegri is just trolling Catania, I don’t know.
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| Brace yourselves for the full Bonera |
I am quite sure Ambrosini will not be fit in time, meaning
Allegri has his choice of Montolivo plus two. Let’s just hope and pray that one
of those two will be Boateng, if for no other reason than to keep him away from
the front. Speaking of the front, it cost him €20.000, but Balotelli will be
back with his bleached mohawk and all. So at one end, we have the fear of a
defensive failure with Bonera and Amelia, and an equal reaction, but on the
opposite end of the spectrum, that Balotelli will be up front. So the game plan
will clearly be to score more goals than we concede. And accompanying Balotelli
in this effort should be the ever-tough El Shaarawy and hopefully Niang, but
knowing Allegri, Robinho. That’s alright. I think one or both of the
mohawk-wearing strikers can make up for what Robinho has been lacking this
calendar year, or maybe even trick him into giving them some nice assists.
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| Is Allegri just trolling? |
Whatever Allegri does to either try to secure the Champions
League spot, or to sabotage our best efforts, I think our boys will find the
way to win. Certainly now that Berlusconi just had his appeal rejected and will
be personally hemorrhaging money to his wife, he won’t want to see his team
give up the income that comes with Champions League next year. He may have let
Galliani keep Allegri on despite the entire universe calling for him to be
sacked, but the big guy doesn’t like to part with his money, even if it’s not
really his yet. So watch carefully these next five matches. Allegri will be
under even bigger pressure this season to qualify than he was last season to
try to win. And who knows? Maybe Milan will get lucky and qualify for Champions
League and finally lose Allegri? Hey,
a girl can dream.
This post inspired by music of
Nirvana
Milan vs. Catania
Sunday, April 28 • 20:45 CEST (2:45pm EDT)
This match will be broadcast LIVE on RAI in the U.S.
(check comments for stream links before kickoff)