Just like the fear that most children have of something
horrible living under their bed, Milan have a monster that keeps coming back:
we keep drawing Barcelona in the Champions League. And just like on a bad night,
when the child imagines an even bigger, scarier monster, Tuesday’s matchup
seems just that much more intimidating. Despite a morale boost of a win on
Saturday, this team is hardly prepared to compete with the current Barcelona squad. But like it
or not, face them we must. So brace yourself and say your prayers, because
Tuesday we meet the monster under the bed.
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| A couple of the scariest monsters |
Barcelona are on top of their league with 25 points in 9
games. In fact, this weekend, vs. Osasuna, they actually played to a 0-0 draw
and dropped their first points of the season. But they are also in a much
stronger position than Milan, with Puyol, Mascherano, and Messi all coming back from
injury. In fact, Tata Martino will only be missing Affelay, Cuenca, and Jordi
Alba. So basically, a monster-sized squad.
The squad that faced Osasuna on Saturday was Valdes;
Montoya, Puyol, Bartra, Adriano; Xavi, Iniesta, Busquets; Fabregas, Pedro, and
Neymar. And if you are not scared by that lineup, Messi did actually play the last 20 minutes or so, having come off of injury,
but will be well rested should he start against Milan tomorrow. However it is Neymar
that I dread most. Sure, he is incredibly talented, but he is also even more
incredibly sure of himself, and yet eclipsing both the football talent and
self-confidence are his acting skills. Let’s hope the German referee knows this
and doesn’t let him get away with his usual performances. Speaking of German referees, the fourth official is named Christ. This is not a joke. So let's hope Kaká has a little influence there.
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| Like a father consoling a frightened child, only this one concedes goals like a sieve |
As if all of this weren’t beastly enough, Milan are feeling
even more small and frightened by our monster-sized injury list. It’s not like
we’re missing bench players, we are missing so many key starters, like
Balotelli, Abbiati, Pazzini, El Shaarawy, De Sciglio, and Bonera. Okay, well
mostly starters. Which means that Amelia will be starting in goal. That cannot
chase away any fears. However we can draw strength from the fact that both De
Jong and Mexes will be available, both having served suspensions on Saturday.
The biggest monster that Milan fear is everyone’s
favorite master tactician, Massimiliano Allegri. Last season saw him coach the
perfect game against Barcelona. But then our last Champions League foray
against Ajax, he got everything wrong. So which Allegri will show up this time?
Will he be able to motivate our beleaguered squad into superheroes? Will this ritiro business be enough for our
team to resist Barcelona’s legendary
possession and superb quality and maybe even pull off a result? Because even a
draw would be a monstrous win to me.
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| Watch out, Barca we have our own goal scoring monster in Sulley Muntari (image may not be entirely accurate) |
For a team who notably falls asleep on the pitch to concede
ridiculous goals, I hope Allegri can at least get them to sleep with one eye
open. Maybe the monster under the bed is not real, and if Osasuna can hold them
to a scoreless draw, then maybe Milan can, too. Even if our worst fears are
realized, there can really be no shame in losing to a team who, unlike Milan,
are still in one of their strongest cycles. Honestly, I’m still just grateful
that we were invited to the party. So while I may not sleep so well tonight, I guess I’m ready to face the monster under the bed… again.
This post inspired by the music of
the Monsters, Inc. soundtrack
AC Milan vs. Barcelona
Tuesday, October 22 • 20:45 CEST (2:45 EDT)
This match will be shown on Fox Sports 1 in the U.S.
Check here for stream links ahead of the game
Stay tuned for an all new podcast before the match tomorrow!