As if it’s not hard enough to be a Milan fan right now, or
even worse, one of the players, now we go to Barcelona on Wednesday to face our
favorite European nemeses…. again. But it’s okay, because it’s just like
beating your head against the wall. Which is just like watching pretty much
every Milan performance this season. So it’s all good. Or not. But whatever,
after Wednesday night, it will all be over… or at least until the next time
Milan are in a Champions League draw. Which is looking right now to be a very
long time in the future. But don’t worry, like everything else this season,
this too shall pass.
Just so you don’t think I was trying to be all unique by being the only Milan blogger in the world to embed a three year old Rube Goldberg Machine music video in my Barca-Milan preview, I just figured that we needed something worth watching right now. (Although I’m pretty sure that this is the only Barca-Milan preview with an OK GO Rube Goldberg Machine music video in it, too.) With Barcelona being pretty much like a well-oiled machine and Milan being… well whatever you want to call the opposite of that, and also because there is a giant red and black football near the end of the video, I figured it was a sign. And, unlike Allegri’s Milan, where there seems to be no plan and no direction, I thought you should see what a team of ultra cool nerds and artists could do with a little planning and direction. So if the thought of playing Barcelona at this point freaks you out, just play the video again. You’re welcome.
The machine, as I like to call Barca these days, was
frustrated by a 1-1 draw at the San Siro to Allegri’s
Milan... ¡Ay caramba! This, after
losing to the man with no tactics last season in Milano, I’m sure they are most
frustrated. So I’m sure that Tata Martino has been tuning up his machine in the
past couple of weeks so that maybe he can repeat the vengeance of Roura last
year in the Round of 16, when after losing
to Milan at the San Siro, Barcelona fought back for an impressive
4-0 win at the Camp Nou to eliminate Milan from the Champions League.
With Milan’s form and more importantly the freefall that is our entire
organization right now, it’s honestly very hard to imagine a favorable result
in Spain this time around. Although even a draw would help keep our dreams
alive of getting through the Group Stage.
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| A well-oiled machine I'd prefer to look at rather than those Barcelona players again |
Since we last met, not even two weeks ago, Barcelona have
won all three of their league matches, including beating Real Madrid 2-1 in the
first of 328 el Clásico matches this year (that
last figure may not be accurate.) Most recently, on Friday, they beat
Espanyol in their derby 1-0 at home with a gaol by Alexis Sanchez. Martino lined
up Valdes; Montoya, Pique, Mascherano, Alves; Xavi, Iniesta, Busquets;
Sanchez, Messi, and Neymar. Martino is still missing Jordi Alba and Affellay,
and will also be missing dos Santos due to injury. Rumor has it that Messi is doubtful for
this match, but I’m not sure if that is a fitness issue or the media-produced
mental injury that is a whopping 4 game league scoring drought for the tiny
scoring machine. (He must have caught
that from Balotelli.)
As for Allegri, he will line up 11 players. Who they are,
whether or not they will all be fit enough is a huge question that I will not
pretend to answer. Part of it will depend on how things go at the ritiro slumber party. Abbiati is
back fit, and I would guess that he should start given his experience, but that
young phenom in goal Gabriel, despite having conceded 6 goals while covering
for the veteran, could conceivably start, I suppose. Allegri will have Mexes at
his disposal, as his 328 game ban only applies to league matches (that last figure may not be accurate.)
However, after some swelling of the same knee that was operated on in
September, De Sciglio is almost undoubtedly ruled out for the trip. Also
unlikely to make the trip is any sort of game plan, tactics, direction,
guidance, or morale. All of those things have been ruled out due to
incompetence.
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| Not sure if it's ritiro or if they're being held hostage |
However, having faced Barcelona 328 times (that last figure may not be accurate,)
there is always the hope that Allegri’s once a season
I-think-I-know-how-to-do-this-one-against-Barca luck will extend to two games.
Just don’t hold your breath. And look for Balotelli and possibly his manager,
the great Raiola, to spend even more time in Barca’s locker room this time,
too. After all, a well-oiled machine is always more fun than a sinking ship.
But my heart is sticking with the sinking ship. So whatever happens on
Wednesday in Barcelona, I’ll know that at least this too shall pass.
This post inspired by the music of OK
Go’s “This Too Shall Pass” and the genius of the science-meets-art geeks of
Mindshare
Champions League Group Stage
FC Barcelona vs. AC Milan
Wednesday, November 6 • 20:45 CET (2:45 EST)
This match will be shown LIVE on Fox Sport 1 in the US
Check comments for stream links ahead of the match
Stay tuned tomorrow for a brand new
podcast!!