I was dreading this match. And then I turned on my TV to
watch what was, in my opinion, Milan’s best performance to date this season. So
I got my hopes up. The boys were playing with such fire and intensity, I was
actually excited. But in the 75th minute, that all changed. One single
substitution was enough to suck the life out of the team who had started this
match to play to the death.
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| Balotelli playing to the death |
This derby was mouthwatering, it had everything you could
want. Fierce battles, great shots, and so much grinta, it wasn’t even funny. For the first 75 minutes, Milan
controlled the match, controlled the tempo, called the shots. Sure, Abbiati was
called into action a few times, but Milan dominated so much that even my
football-illiterate American commentators noticed that we dominated.
And then Allegri dropped the gamechanger: he sent on
Alessandro Matri for Saponara, who had made his debut in stunning fashion. In
fact Saponara was so good, it left us all wondering, “Where has Allegri been hiding
him?” And conversely, Matri was so bad, it made all of us say things that are
not for children’s eyes.
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| Was he just a mirage? |
Like when a needle touches an inflated balloon, subbing
Matri on was like being down a player. Except he was still taking up space on
the pitch. And Mazzarri was wise enough to notice, he made actual attacking
substitutions that changed the entire momentum of the match. And so it was, in
the 86th, Palacio scored the only goal of the match from an assist by the
hellish Guarin. 1-0 Inter.
Our boys still fought to the death, but literally went down
to 10 men in stoppage time when Sulley “The Killer” Muntari saw red after body
checking Kuzmanovic. Being on 9 actual players just wasn’t enough for Milan to
grab the draw, and another derby was lost under Allegri’s tenure.
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| We had 'em until Allegri pulled the rug out from underneath the team |
In addition to the ferocity and intensity with which the
entire team played, highlights included, in no particular order: Abbiati is
still a beast, his double save on Palacio in the 81st was epic. Bonera has
rightfully earned the title of Big Game Bonera. Nagatomo is going to have
nightmares for a very long time of a sweet, baby-faced De Sciglio shutting him
down like a freaking boss. Poli mixing it up with Cambiasso and anyone else
that dared, and Balotelli keeping his cool were both inspiring. And seeing
Pazzini, if only for an Allegri 6 minute sub was a sight for sore eyes.
But Allegri couldn’t undo his worst error, and not
coincidentally it literally cost us the game. Sure, we missed some big shots.
Sure, we got 4 yellow cards and a red card. Sure Constant was subbed off for an
ankle injury and left the stadium on crutches. We were lucky Mazzoleni didn’t
call the penalty for Zapata’s foul in the 40th, but we were probably unlucky on
a couple of calls, too, like a handball, etc. But the most unlucky part was when there were eleven warriors on the
pitch, ready to battle to the death, and Allegri pulled one of them off for a
so-called striker, who was more likely ready to battle a bad hair day than actually
do battle on the pitch.
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| Two captains, so much class. This should have been a derby to remember, but I'd rather forget. |
So I have a challenge for you, Allegri. Since you seem to
think we are doing well, and clearly have no plans to resign and put all of us
out of our misery, how about you and I duel… to the death? I know it’s not
fair, since I’m a woman, but I feel pretty strongly right now that I can
overcome that handicap. Because clearly my heart bleeds red and black more than
you, and besides, you are swiftly leading me to an untimely death anyway, what
have I got to lose? At least if I take you out, I have saved all Milanisti
worldwide from having to hear you scream “Dai Dai Dai!” from the sidelines or
listen to you saying how we played well, but were only missing a goal, or whatever
drivel you insist on spewing post game each time. So how about it? To the
death.
This post inspired by the music of
NIN’s “Mr. Self Destruct”