Milan have been on a Cloud Cuckoo Land-like
high since hiring Seedorf, even more so after grabbing three points from
Bologna on Friday. But Wednesday we face our toughest test yet, when we face Lord Business and the Cloak
of Ban d’aid, otherwise known as Atletico Madrid. It’s enough to wipe
the smile off of your face. But maybe, if we just follow the instructions,
maybe we can continue our mindless bliss by finding the Piece of Resistance and
grab some kind of result against the Kragle of La Liga. Yeah, let’s just
believe that. Everything is Awesome.
If you are like Princess Unikitty, then you will somehow be
able to think positive thoughts about playing the team that are tied on the top
of La Liga with Real Madrid and our old friends, Barca. Happy thoughts, despite the fact
that their current league record is 19 wins, 3 draws, and only 2 losses. Or the fact that they
are undefeated in the Champions League this season, only drawing to Zenit in their house,
while shutting out Austria Vienna and winning both legs vs. Porto. Oh, and did
I mention that they only conceded 3 goals in those Group Stage matches? It’s
enough even to make Unikitty see red.
Milan had two advantages in this match: playing at home and
the fact that David Villa had been injured. However, Villa made it back from
injury to play about 15 minutes yesterday, so we are down to only the slight
advantage that is playing at the San Siro. Diego Simeone, Atletico coach and
also known as Bad Cop/Good Cop, knows Seedorf well, having played against him
during his playing career. But Simeone also knows the San Siro well, having
played at Inter, as well as having played at Lazio and coached briefly at
Catania. Against Real Valladolid yesterday, he lined up the Master Builders Courtois;
Godin, Alderweireld, Juanfran, Insua; M. Suarez, Koke, Turan, Gabi; R. Garcia,
and Diego Costa. He will, however, be missing defenders Manquillo, Gimenez, and
Filipe as well as midfielder Tiago to injuries.
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| The Special and Bad Cop know each other well |
Seedorf, on the other hand, following the Instructions to Fit In, Have
Everybody Like You and Be Happy, has a much more difficult task. With
Muntari and Montolivo suspended, Honda cup-tied, and an injury list that as of
this writing includes El Shaarawy, Cristante, Birsa, Urby, Robinho, Silvestre,
Bonera, with Kaka and Zapata still doubtful, it’s not as if he has the Piece of
Resistance, let alone the pieces he needs to even build a Spaceship! As if that
weren’t bad enough, he’s got to manage the media circus around the dark and
brooding Balotelli, aka Batman. He’s also
only got De Jong and Essien available for the two holding midfielder spots, and
we all know how well that worked out vs. Napoli.
Which begs the question, is Seedorf The Special? He is so
new to coaching, it’s like having only The Double Decker Couch
for an idea. And then there is this team, still functioning more like
individuals. It’s almost like a bunch of Master Builders
trying to build a Submarine. But would they play well enough if they
all Followed the Instructions and thought that Everything is
Awesome? Or is this game destined to be like Taco Tuseday? Seedorf is
the only player to have won the Champions League with three different teams,
and recently said that “the DNA of Milan is something I have inside of Me.” So
maybe he truly is a Master Builder, more specifically The Special, the one
Vitruvius’ Prophecy told of.
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| Is he truly The Special? |
On the other hand, maybe Milan will fall victim to the
Kragle and the Evil Lord Business. Not every match can end like a Hollywood movie,
even an animated one about childrens’ playthings. But there truly is something
about the Champions League that makes even the worst Milan side play better. We
may be missing our Big Game Bonera™, but following the instructions and yet using
the strengths of each Master Builder may just earn us a result on Wednesday,
we’ll see. Until then, Everything is Awesome.
This post inspired by The Lego Movie
Our next match is
Champions League Round of 16
AC Milan vs. Atletico Madrid
Wednesday, February 19 • 20:45 CET (2:45 EST)
This match will NOT be shown LIVE in the U.S.
(will be shown delayed on FS2)
Check here for stream links ahead of the match