With the club under such scrutiny and having such poor
results, Galliani has turned to an unusual new tactic in the transfer market. In
the past two weeks, he has signed both Jesus
and a Savior. Jesus of course, is
the first given name of Suso, otherwise known as Jesús Joaquín Fernández Sáenz
de la Torre, and the Savior would be Salvatore (Italian for “Savior”) Bocchetti.
I don’t know that either of them are the second coming of Christ, and I doubt
that both of them together will “save” Milan. But it is a very interesting choice
of tactics for i Diavoli.
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| He wears a shawl like Jesus |
Suso of course is an attacking midfielder/winger/midfielder/whatever Inzaghi calls him today who is 21 years
old and was riding the bench at Liverpool after a loan deal at Almería last
year. Once seen as perhaps the second coming of Christ, he had more recently
under-impressed and was thus not getting playing time. But that doesn’t matter
at Milan. That is the kind of revelation that earns you a 4.5 year contract
worth €1.5m annually, with a €1.3m transfer fee going to Liverpool, of course.
I mean the biblical Jesus was also young and unproven when he started his
ministry, wasn’t he? Although I suppose it actually ended quite badly for him,
now that I think of it.
Which brings us to our Savior, Salvatore Bocchetti. He is a
left-footed center back who can also play as a full back (somewhere in Torino,
Allegri just started drooling.) Because when you have a defense as inept as
ours, the only thing you are missing is a Serie B defender who spent two years
in Serie A at Genoa and has been playing in Russia for the past five years. I
mean he’s 28, and hasn’t been called up to the national team in like five
years, so he must be one hell of a defender, right? He must have heard that
Conte is looking to call up players from Serie B, hence Milan. Even if he could
save us, his loan deal is only through the end of the season so far anyway.
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| Can't tell if he's proud of that crest or is trying to get it off of him so it doesn't burn his skin |
I honestly have nothing personal against either of these
guys. I want to see how they play before I put any faith in their redemptive
powers. I mean, I have vague memories of seeing Bocchetti play, and I think he
was okay. But my cynicism is toward Galliani, who looks to Jesus and a Savior
to try to bail him out of the hole he has been digging for years with all of
his free transfers, high wages, and long contracts. Not even God himself will
be able to save him if he keeps this up.
I have long been a firm believer that his time is up at
Milan, and I believe that even these two transfers, as well as the courting of
Destro and others that are rumored, are proof eternal of that fact. Even if
Jesús and Salvatore come good and help us out, they are not the kinds of
players we need to be rebuilding with. And swelling our already bloated squad
out of desperation at the end of the mercato is certainly not going to save us
either, especially since we already have the third highest wage bill in Serie
A, with a squad that is midtable at best and performing like a relegation team.
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| No place in heaven for him, but he's something worse than hell |
When does it end? Can anyone save Milan? I believe it ends
when the man who plays God of the transfers steps down. There is no Jesus that
can save this team. There is no Savior who can justify the costs incurred by
the terrible business deals of Galliani over the years. Berlusconi’s checkbook alone isn’t
big enough to clean this mess up. We have to do something different, because if
you keep doing the same things, you keep getting the same results. Even looking
to heaven is not going to help the red devils. So while I welcome Jesus and my
Savior to Milan, and hope they can achieve heavenly results, only Galliani’s
retirement or dismissal can save Milan from Galliani.
This post inspired by the music of
the Sex Pistols
Our next match is
Milan vs. Parma
Sunday, February 1 • 20:45 CEST 2:45pm EST