I really didn’t care about this Coppa Italia final. I don’t
like either team, and I didn’t care what happened. But then something
inexplicable happened. Matri almost scored the winner, just before the final
whistle. I was so thankful when it was called off for offside. But then, ten
minutes later in extra time, he did
score the winning goal. You know, the player we agreed to pay €11m for to a
rival club? The one who could possibly, on a good day, be worth half that much…
maybe? The one whom we bought, then loaned to two other clubs, only to loan him
back to the same team we purchased him from? All the while paying half of his
wages? And not only did he score the winner tonight in Rome, he did much better
at all of the other clubs than he did for us. It was like being kicked in the
stomach. With a steel-toed boot. With cleats. By something with superhuman
strength. As a Milan fan not only was this adding insult to injury, but it was
like a whole new level of trauma to a season filled with so much pain.
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| He's cheating on us and is now a hero, while we suffer more |
Pain is described by Wikipedia as “an unpleasant
feeling often caused by intense or damaging stimuli, such as stubbing a toe,
burning a finger, putting alcohol on a cut…” one might also add “or being a
Milan fan this season.” Interestingly, the origin for the word pain derives
from “punishment.” It’s true, even after several years of punishment and unnecessary
pain brought on by terrible decisions from management, this season has hurt the
most. To watch this feeble squad, many whom have just arrived, try to honor the
weight of the crest they wear, taking the red and black stripes on like a
burden for which they were never built to bear. Watching Inzaghi, himself a
Milan legend, age before our eyes with an impossible job, the crest on his coat
visibly sucking the life out of him. It has hurt so much. And now this, the
kick in the stomach to exacerbate the pain we already had. It’s almost too
much.
According to Wikipedia, “pain motivates the individual to
withdraw from damaging situations, to protect a damaged body part while it
heals, and to avoid similar experiences in the future.” I can tell you from the
traffic on the Twitter, the blog, and more this season that many fans have
withdrawn from Milan this year, protecting themselves, and attempting to avoid
similar experiences. The rest of us could be called masochists, but there is
not actually a word in the dictionary that actually describes what we have
subjected ourselves to this year. Not even the Curva Sud can watch, and even
Galliani is often seen leaving before a match is over. We may call ourselves simply “fans”, but
adding the word “Milan” ahead of fans puts us in a category of our own. To
truly call oneself a Milan fan this season means that pain is who we are, with no relief
in sight, either.
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| Oh yeah, and Galliani's other transfer fail put in the cross for that goal, too |
Lastly, Wikipedia reports that “pain is the most common
reason for physician consultation in most advanced countries…” This is true of
Milan fans, too. Just ask fans of Juventus, Bayern, Barca, PSG, and more. A lot
of the so-called “bandwagon fans” have moved to those clubs to escape the pain.
And after this season, can anyone really blame them? Maybe when we finished
second and a few fans left the club, it was easy to point a finger and
criticize. But after this season, we might even envy the fans who have moved
along. For those of us who truly bleed red and black, moving on isn’t an option.
We will suffer every ounce of pain this management inflicts upon us. We will
hurt with every loss or poor performance, and feel the sting of every poor
transfer.
Only now, we will also be forced to stare at a silver star
alongside Juve’s three gold ones. Knowing that perhaps Galliani’s worst
transfer decision ever helped to earn that for them. He will likely come back
to the club this summer to haunt us, too, as Juve have opted not to buy him.
And we will continue to pay his remaining transfer fee of €11m for two more
years, too, and probably continue to cover half of his wages if he plays
elsewhere. That is to say nothing of watching Juventus hoist the man they formerly
hated in the air, the one who helped run the morale of the squad into the
ground during his three and a half years at Milan. He has won them the league
and now the Coppa Italia, and has them in the Champions League final, too. All
with the experience he gained at Milan, and with a smile and celebrations he
never had at Milan, either. This level of suckerpunch is beyond mortal capabilities
to deal with. No amount of alcohol can ease this pain, no doctor can prescribe
something to help us cope.
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| I know, I know, this one's for Milan. We hate you, too. |
If you are still reading this, you are undoubtedly also in
an incredible amount of pain, too. And you and I both know that walking away
from this is not an option. So we have to cope with it as best we can. Find
ways of helping each other tolerate every incomprehensible transfer decision,
every mindboggling performance, and whatever “big” changes Galliani plans to
make this summer to try to alleviate the burden that being a Milan fan has
become. But given the recent history, you should really brace yourself for more
torture. After all, Matri’s contract has two more full years on it. Now that is some serious pain.
This post inspired by the music of
Oingo Boingo’s “No Spill Blood”
Our next match is
Milan vs. Torino
Sunday, May 24 • 20:45 CEST (2:45pm EDT)