It’s not enough that we have to share a city and a stadium
with those filthy, wire-tapping weasels. Wait, that’s an insult to the weasels.
Sorry weasels. But now after two years of thinking they are too good for a little preseason
tournament, Inter are back. And for the first time since the tournament began,
Juventus are not competing. I don’t know if it’s because Allegri still can’t
get over Inzaghi beating him or if they realized that it’s a trophy they’ve only
ever won once and they decided to give up trying, but they’re not in it this
time. (It most likely has to do with the
scheduling of the Supercoppa in China over the weekend, but that’s what they
want you to believe, right?) So it’s Sassuolo, Milan, and the scum-sucking biscione delinquents this time around.
There goes the neighborhood.
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| To keep the neighborhood clean, we'll have to pull off the repeat |
The Trofeo TIM tournament is a bizarre, over-caffeinated
tournament consisting of three 45 minute matches, a tournament that not even
Sepp Blatter will sign off on. (I know
because I offered him cash,
but he refused… or maybe that was someone else...) It’s not FIFA-sanctioned
because the 45 minute halves do not follow the FIFA Rules of the Game. So it
makes sense, that not following the rules, Inter have actually won it eight of
the fourteen times it has been contested. Milan have won it four times, and
Sassuolo won it once of the two times they have participated. Twelve of the
fourteen times it has been played, the winners did not go on to win the Scudetto. The two times they did? It was those
vile, maggot-ridden snakes-for-brains. So it doesn’t really matter who wins,
except we can’t let those disgusting league-destroying Nerazzurri take that trophy home this time. It may be the only
tournament they can win without court intervention, but it doesn’t mean we have
to let them win it again.
Each team plays the other team over three matches, and if there is not a winner
in 45 minutes (or Inter try to get the
courts involved,) then they go directly to penalties to decide a winner.
A winner in regulation gets three points, a winner on penalties gets two
points, a loser on penalties gets one point, and zero points for a loss in
regulation. The points for a team wearing blue and black after they ask a judge
to intervene will be determined at a future date, in which case, the true winner
will be stripped of their trophy and a paper one given to the dark side of
Milan. So you can see why victory within regulation is important to have a hope
of keeping those thug reptilian filthy tongues off of the hardware.
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| Winning isn't everything, there are also court cases and wire tapping |
Milan won last
year, as a special gift to a former coach on Allegri
Day™ from the greenie coach whose playing career he benched. The year
before that, it was marred
by some serious injuries and racist chanting, although it was lovely
for Sassuolo to take the trophy home in their inaugural tournament.
Particularly since Squinzi, their owner, is a Milanista. I don’t care if Milan
win this one or not, I just want anyone but those putrid, corrupt little tiny
worms-with-scales to take it home. Just because their best streak of winning
trophies on the pitch consists of games that are only 45 minutes long, doesn’t
mean they deserve anymore trophies. Get some Cialis and learn how to play like
men for 90 minutes, you shameful, slithering excuses for excrement.
This used to be a lovely little preseason tournament, with a
trophy as a bonus. But it has become more of an oh-crap-please-no-injuries-gods-of-football
glorified training session. Except when those fetid, vagabond little
refuse-serpents participate. Then it becomes necessary to take it more
seriously, like superheroes whose duty it is to clean up society. Whatever happens with the
outcome, it would be great to see Milan play like we did in China (especially with another win over Inter.) And with
Romagnoli called up, it might be our first chance to see him, too. Plus, of course, the eagerly awaited debut of Goal Line Techology. A 45 minute
match is not a match, but it is a chance to show those pungent, slimy,
spineless, degenerate black and blue toilet brushes their place in the pecking
order of football: There are teams like Milan and Sassuolo, who do not wiretap
everyone they know and hide evidence in a league-wide scandal. And then like true bottom-dwellers, there
is the one team that does. Now that they’re back in the tournament this year,
there goes the neighborhood.
This post inspired by the music of
AC/DC
The Trofeo TIM Tournament
AC
Milan vs. Sassuolo vs. Inter
Wednesday, August 12
20:45 CEST (2:45pm EDT): AC Milan vs. Inter
21:45 CEST (3:45pm EDT): Sassuolo vs. Loser of the 1st game
22:45CEST (4:45pm EDT): Sassuolo vs. Winner of the 1st game
This match will NOT be shown live in the U.S.
Please post working streams if you find them… thanks!