Lazio-Milan Preview: Lowball

I wish I could say ‘When in Rome, do as Roma does,” because they are currently top of the table. But we are playing far from that level, and we will be playing their rivals, Lazio. Milan are coming off of a miraculous win (the miracle being that any Milan fan will want to watch this team again.) But Lazio lost to Atalanta, and find themselves now in sixth place, not looking like the team that started so strong this season. That I understand, both teams underperformed midweek. Whether they continue that streak or were just trying to lowball it going into Sunday’s game remains to be seen.

"Hey! Why did you take the ball away from me?!"

Milan 1, Chievo 0: Nauseating Win

Every fan supposedly has a breaking point, and likewise, every fan’s stomach has a breaking point. That point where your stomach just gets so nauseated by the football you are watching. For my stomach, I reached the nauseating point again today. Not only was it midweek, and I was cursed dealing with a terrible stream, but the overall play hurt my sensibilities and made me physically ill. I know this sounds crazy, because that was our second win in a row and we are now in eighth place in the table, but I would trade a loss with a decent performance for that win today. Because then at least I wouldn’t be so sick to my stomach.

The goal was certainly lovely

Milan-Chievo Preview: Straight As The Donkey Flies

I never get tired of marveling over Chievo’s mascot or nickname, “i Mussi Volanti,” or “the Flying Donkeys.” For one, are flying donkeys actually a thing? And if so, are flying mules as stubborn as non-flying ones? And what happens when a flying donkey defecates – if the land-bound ones produce road apples, do the flying ones produce sky apples? I ask these questions because it seems perfect that our midweek nemesis is such a farcical creature, considering our farcical level of play. And with them having only one point less than us, we will need to go straight as the donkey flies if we are to ogre-out another win this round.

Mihajlovic tries to show the team how big those sky apples can be

Milan 2, Sassuolo 1: We’re Not Superheroes

In the preview post, I described Sassuolo as our kryptonite. But I also begged the question: Are Milan players superheroes? If we were superheroes, Sassuolo would have power over us, like they have in the past. And although the ultimate Milan kryptonite, Berardi, did score on us, Sassuolo’s kryptonite still didn’t have enough power over us to defeat us this time. So, no surprise, I guess we’re not superheroes.

If only they played as intensely as they celebrated, there might be more to celebrate

Milan-Sassuolo Preview: Kryptonite

One might think that kryptonite is a convenient title given the green of Sassuolo’s kits, but actually, it refers to the power they seem to have over Milan. Despite being owned by unabashed Milan fan Squinzi, or maybe because of that fact, Milan have been done in by the little team that could far too many times. Specifically by hat trick Berardi. And now that little team sit in fifth place, while we have slid all the way down to thirteenth on the table. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say they are definitely our kryptonite.

Has he always been Milan's kryptonite?

Trofeo Berlusconi • Milan 0, Inter 1: Reap What You Sow

This summer, Milan finally seemed to be engaged in a project to restores some common decency to the Milan crest. But somewhere they went wrong, and they failed to do some of the most important things to elicit actual change. So today, in a match that was created to honor Silvio Berlusconi’s father, Milan’s management learned that you reap what you sow.

A bright spot amongst the drudgery

Trofeo Berlusconi Preview: Milan vs. Inter

As illustrious and highly esteemed as Silvio himself, the Trofeo Berlusconi is always a riveting, highly watched match between the world’s greatest teams. Oh wait, my bad. The Trofeo Berlusconi is a meaningless friendly that was once a preseason match, but has now been bumped to October or November because of the more lucrative summer friendlies that are now available. In fact, Milan wisely chose to play it the same day as Champions League matches for the second year running. Which means neither team are playing in Europe, and you won’t even be able to find a stream. As if you’d want to.

Just give yourself a trophy, Silvio, and then fix Milan or get out.

Torino 1, Milan 1: The Ruining of the Bulls

Torino had a big day planned. It was Ventura’s 1,000th game coached, Quagliarella’s 100th game played for the Granata, and they also broke ground on the remodeling of their Stadio Filadelfia, too. Despite having lost their last match vs. Carpi, they likely looked at Milan’s woeful record and were hoping this game was winnable. But not today. This Milan had a secret wookiee… I mean weapon, and despite the lack of performance by most of the rest of the squad, he managed to ensure the ruining of the bulls.

Moments of brilliance is still an improvement

Torino vs. Milan: Never Bring a Baby to a Bullfight

Let’s hope our matadors don’t get trampled

Torino-Milan Preview: Bullseye

In the not so distant past, Torino would have been a team we would have been wary of, but could travel there with some confidence. But not this time. This time, Torino sit in fifth place, while Milan’s slide down the table currently has us in 11th place. With injury woes and a recurring mentality issue that no one seems to be able to fix, this game is likely to be more than just taking a couple of arrows, it will more likely be a bullseye.

This one's gonna hurt

In Search of a Strike Partnership

When selecting a formation or system to fit a team, there are lots of things to consider. Like whatever formation your team’s owner tells you to play. When a Milan coach is told that he must use the 4-3-1-2, it is not always a bad thing. But one of the key elements of that formation is the two strikers up front, who must form a strike partnership. Over the summer, Milan bought two very good strikers, seemingly in hopes of finding that partnership. Then they also brought back Balotelli, giving us three players without longterm injuries to build a partnership of two strikers for our starting eleven. But despite having undeniable talent and skills, so far, we have not seen the goals or assists we want from them. Therefore, we are still in search of a strike partnership.

Very skilled, but can he work as a partner?

When Men Were Men

Yesterday, former Milan and Inter players gathered together to honor Claudio Lippi, the beloved journalist who died in a tragic accident two years ago, leaving behind a wife and a young daughter. These legends could have been doing anything else they wanted to, but they chose to be there and lend their support to honor an old friend and help his family. Because they are men. They didn’t have to get their hair cut or styled, they weren’t checking social media or taking selfies. They weren’t on the phone to their agents because they sat one game on the bench. They were there to lend a hand because they were not self-important. And when I saw the picture below, it reminded me of a time when men were men.

Still making sacrifices for friends

Poll: Where Do We Go From Here?

With all of the talk about Milan’s continued failures, there is not as much conversation about how Milan can return to success. So today I’d like to hear from you. What do you think Milan should do to get back on track? One or more extreme solutions? Or more subtle, conservative changes? Choose one or choose them all, this is your chance to weigh in on where we go from here. Feel free to add other choices and/or expound upon your choices in the comments section below.

It's nice to know where we've been, but we want to know how to win again

Nothing’s Changed

“Stop me, oh, oh-oh, stop me
Stop me if you think
That you've heard this one before

Nothing's changed
I still love you, oh, I still love you
Only slightly, only slightly less
Than I used to, my love”

--The Smiths

Why it takes a 4-0 brutalization at home from Napoli for people to start talking about what’s wrong with the club, I don’t know. I’ve been doing it for years. And after years of being condemned by Berlusconi’s fellow Bunga Bunga mates (in their dreams) and Galliani’s yellow-tie minions, they are all finally wising up to what has been written here for years: there is a serious problem with management at Milan that is impacting the entire club, top to bottom. And nothing’s changed.

A picture is worth a thousand words... or paying another player's €4m salary for this one to sit on the bench

Milan 0, Napoli 4: Annihilated

If you’ve watched Milan’s downward spiral in terms of performances this season, and especially if you’ve seen Napoli’s results spiraling upwards, then tonight’s loss should not surprise you. You might even say Milan got our just desserts. The score, however, was like kicking a man when he’s down, with the own goal just another kick in the face. But as usual, the defeat is nothing in comparison to the rhetoric of Milan fans on the interwebs. It’s hard enough to lose a game like that, but when your fans toss around hyperbole and call for everyone’s heads on platters, it’s just embarrassing. It was a very poor game, a logical step based on our recent performances. And certainly with fans like this, the team must feel like they’ve been annihilated.

Annihilated.

Milan vs. Napoli: Nightmare at San Siro

He kept him off the scoreboard last year at home, can he do it again?

Milan vs. Napoli Preview: Just Desserts

After a string of poor performances, a couple of wins, as well as some okay performances coupled with losses or draws, Milan will now be tested by the team just above us on the table. Coming off of defeating Juventus and also a win in the Europa League yesterday, they will certainly be coming to the San Siro for three points. And after last season’s loss at the San Siro in December, then their 3-0 “Snack Time” revenge on us in the San Paolo, they are probably ready for some red and black dessert right about now. So if Napoli crush Milan’s souls on Sunday, know that it will probably be our just desserts.

Can he inspire a San Siro victory against this team? Or will we get what we deserve?