Many of you have noticed that I usually include a musical
inspiration at the end of each post, a little personal touch that either ties
into the post and/or was what I was actually listening to when I wrote. But
today, I am taking the lyrics from a new favorite song of mine to create the
post itself, as they so perfectly express how I feel about Milan lately. The
band is called Garbage, the song is “Even Though Our Love is Doomed” (and the
album comes out later this week.) While I seriously doubt that Scottish lead
singer Shirley Manson or any of her American bandmates are Milan fans, if you
listen to the song, you’ll see they capture how it feels to be a Milan fan
right now very, very well. Eerily well.
I’m getting
desperate… desperate for a revolution… every day that goes by that
Berlusconi still owns the club feels like I am drowning. I try coming up for
air, but every single thing the club does is like another rock tied to my feet,
weighing me down. Somehow I keep getting air, but it feels more desperate as
time goes by, as if one of these days, I truly will drown. I am so desperate
for change.
I need to understand
why we kill the things we love the most… Seedorf, Inzaghi, Mihajlovic… all
of the beloved players who were sold, and some then attempted to bring back to
no avail… Maldini and other legends being shut out by management. I need to
understand why a club who won so much would shun the very people who gave it
success, gave it new life.
And even though our love
is doomed… And even though we’re all messed up… We’re still waiting for
tomorrow, we’re still aching for tomorrow… no matter what the results or
performance are on the pitch, no matter what Berlusconi or Galliani say or do…
we cling to hope, we cling to faith. It’s almost futile, really, but we always
try to find someone or something to believe in. Something to justify the time
and passion we give so foolishly to this sinking ship.
And even though your
love is cruel… And even though our stars are crossed… Transfer nightmares,
sacking coaches, insulting the fans, extending players who are undeserving,
assigning the armband to those who are unworthy… the cruelty of this management
knows no bounds. We may never again see the level of success or even the level
of football Milan once had… but it doesn’t stop our hearts from bleeding red
and black. Though everyone and everything around us tells us that we are
worshipping in vain, we wouldn’t know how to stop loving Milan if we tried.
Such a dysfunctional relationship.
You’re the only thing
worth fighting for… You’re the only thing worth dying for… waking up at
3am… fighting terrible streams that stutter and stop just to catch a glimpse of
a friendly match… watching another lackadaisical performance resulting in a
scoreless draw to a 20th place team… again. Something in our souls compels us
to keep fighting, keep watching, and maybe even to keep drinking… even if our
liver fails.
Maybe I should break
the chain…Maybe I should break the connection… maybe I could give Milan up…
find another team, find another sport, find another hobby. But no matter how
painful, how numb I try to become to the pain, gameday comes again and I find
myself in front of the TV.
…devoured by our Obsession.
All lyrics in bold by Garbage,
copyright 2016