I know you’ve been waiting for this day since last
year. Certainly Montolivo has, as this bizarre tournament is one of the
only chances he has at lifting a trophy. In just three non-FIFA-sanctioned 45
minute matches (and possibly some penalty shoot-outs,) one lucky team will take
home a trophy. A shiny, meaningless trophy. It has all of the excitement of
laundry day, but without all of the clean clothes. Forget about that worldwide
gathering of athletes that only happens every four years. This is the notorious
Trofeo TIM.
 |
| Even if only to let him touch a trophy |
The Trofeo TIM was originally a tournament contested by
Juventus, Inter, and Milan. Then someone got the bright idea to kick Inter out
for a few years. Sassuolo stepped up to the plate, and even became hosts of the
annual event. Last year, Juventus had a Supercoppa obligation, though, so those
filthy snakes came back just to make sure we destroyed them. This year, apparently
Milan winning the trophy two years in a row scared off both Juve and Inter, and
for the first time we have a non-Serie A opponent, Celta Vigo. If they manage
to win the trophy, they will absolutely maintain the curse that whomever wins
the Trofeo TIM will not win the
Scudetto (that curse has been true every year except two.) Of course it is
difficult to imagine Milan winning the Scudetto, or even Sassuolo, so I’m not
sure if that proves the curse right or just shows the level of competition of
this “tournament.” Milan being the only team who has played in every Trofeo TIM tournament would also explain so much about our number of Scudetti.
If, in your excitement to see the preseason friendly tournament
to end all tournaments you’ve forgotten, here’s how it works: Each team plays
the other two teams over the course of a total of three 45 minute matches. If
at the end of these hobbit-length matches, there is no winner, then the teams
go to penalties. Winning a match in quasi-regulation earns a team three points,
winning on penalties earns them two points, losing on penalties earns them one
point, and there are zero points for losing in regulation.
 |
| Sassuolo won in their inaugural year... can they win another? |
If the team continue their preseason growth, the first team
could beat Celta Vigo. Maybe. Also, now that we need to drop some players,
they’ll all be playing for their spot. But if Montella fields a second team to
face Sassuolo like the subs he put on in the U.S., it’s hard to see us beating
the team that finished sixth last year (and also have consistency on their
side.) Also, Lapadula is still not fit,
he has plantar fasciitis (isn’t that what El Shaarawy had? I can’t remember.)
He may not even be ready for our opener against Torino. Also, Gomez has some
kind of paperwork issues or something, so will not be available. If Galliani is
going to bring in any new players, can we please tell him to make sure they are
available to play right away? We could use their help now, not in however many
weeks it takes to heal from an injury.
 |
| "Wait, there's a trophy in Italy we can win in only two 45 minute matches? Yes!" |
I assume Montolivo has been dreaming of his chance to lift
another trophy. He’s probably been dreaming of a Scudetto or Champions League
shaped trophy. But his reality will be that if we can pull off a third straight
win of this esteemed tournament, he will lift a totally different trophy to a
tiny weeknight crowd and a bunch of people streaming the tournament online who
won’t even get to see him lift it because the stream will cut out to show
underwater basket weaving. That is the level of regard this tournament holds.
But hey, it will be fun to see the guys play midweek and see if the preliminary
agreement to sell the club will boost the morale of the team or not. Oh, and
the possibility of Montolivo lifting the trophy… we all know meaningless
preseason trophies are the only ones he’ll ever lift, so good for him. It’s the
notorious Trofeo TIM.
This post inspired by Liam Lynch’s “United
States of Whatever”
Our next match is the
Trofeo Tim
AC Milan • RC Celta de Vigo • US Sassuolo Calcio
Wednesday, August 10 • 21:00 CEST (3pm EDT)
21:00 Milan vs. Celta Vigo
22:00 Loser of 1st match vs. Sassuolo
23:00 Winner of 1st match vs. Sassuolo
Mapei Stadium
This match will not be shown on TV in the U.S.