I would
say that we have a chance in hell of winning this one. One chance. Away to the
Juventus fortress, where they have won every home game for a Serie A record of
30 games. Okay, maybe one chance was too high. They are also coming off of a
lackluster draw to Udinese away on Sunday, and we get to be their warmup for killing
off Porto in the Champions League at Juventus stadium next Tuesday. Lucky us. So
as I mentioned on the latest podcast, all we’ve got left this week is to be
able to make fun of their logo. Which at least provides endless hours of
entertainment.
 |
| They just made it so easy |
Allegri
is getting wiser in his balding old age. When there are troubles in the locker
room and the team tends to play poorly even if they get a late result, it’s
time to run. Juventus insist he’ll be their coach next year, but if Allegri
learned anything from Milan, he’ll be grabbing one of those jobs in other
leagues that he is linked to and start the honeymoon period all over. Not that
it helps us any, unless he is distracted by his language lessons or dreaming of
foreign cuisine. But even if his head is in the clouds, he’s got an unstoppable
machine at his disposal, and even on autopilot, they could crush our weary
souls in their sleep.
Consider
that on Sunday, in their draw to Udinese, he lined up Buffon; Chiellini,
Bonucci, Sandro, Alves, Dybala, Khedira, Pjanic, Higuain, Mandzukic, and
Cuadrado. Sure, it’s a little pathetic that they didn’t crush Udinese, let
alone at least score first. But consider that his bench options were Benatia,
Rincon, Pjaca, Barzagli, Lichtsteiner, Marchisio, Asamoah, Rugani, etc. We are
so screwed. He is missing Chiellini and Sturaro to injury, and I believe Cuadrado to suspension, but that certainly won’t stop
them from destroying all of our hopes and dreams and then celebrating with
their fans in their beautiful shiny stadium.
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| How flattering to have been the model for the new logo, but he'll miss this one |
While
Montella has been amazingly patient with the cards he’s been dealt at Milan, he
was never given a squad that even rivals Juventus’ bench. Additionally, he’ll
still be missing Abate, Bonaventura, and Montolivo to injury. Suso said after
sustaining a minor muscle injury in the game on Sunday that he would be fine,
but will the doctors agree? Antonelli is back in training, but there may still
be some doubt as to whether he’ll be ready or not to travel to Turin.
The
biggest question on a lot of fans’ minds is how the referee will perform.
Juventus has become falsely synonymous with tampering with referees, when
during Calciopoli,
the evidence showed that Milan, Galliani, and our referee designee, Meani,
actually did far more and far worse. That small-minded idea that if a big club
is winning they must be getting favors from the referee stems from sheer ignorance
and people not actually watching the games like they used to. Sadly, in today’s
world, people read something on Twitter, without even considering the source,
and that becomes their reality. It’s so embarrassing. Especially when Milan
have been granted ridiculous favors such as Ocampos’ “I’ve
fallen and I can’t get up” penalty against Chievo on Sunday. Needless
to say, you have been warned, if I see your ignorance showing anywhere on
social media, I’ll call you out. No mercy.
 |
| Please. It's a hilarious pic, but insults your intelligence if you believe it's true. |
It’s
tough to see a way that we come out of this with three points. Sure, we
beat them in October in our house. And yes, we snatched
the Supercoppa right out of their soon-to-be-redesigned-after-two-years-of-research-little
hands in December. But more recently, they knocked us on our behinds right
out of the Coppa Italia in their house. And that is where we are
heading again on Friday. Like lambs to the slaughter, Milan is a team whose
very ownership is still hanging in the balance. Competing against a team that
is a
well-oiled winning machine from the top of its management to the bottom
of its ridiculous new logo. Of course I dream of breaking their home winning
streak. Who doesn’t? But realistically, we’d be so lucky to even get a point.
Because we all know what happens when J’s attack.
This post inspired
by the music of twenty one pilots’ “Heavydirtysoul”
Juventus vs. Milan
Friday, March 10 • 20:45
CET (2:45pm EST)
This match will be
shown LIVE on RAI and BeIN Sports in the U.S.
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