A Milan Horror Story

It was a dark and stormy night. After having changed ownership and then spent over €200m to buy a whole new starting eleven this summer, Milan were precariously perched at eighth place on the table. In their first 11 league games, they had lost a shocking five of them, making fans cower in fear. And every time they lost a match or played poorly, there were unholy voices whispering, nay screaming incantations of fear and dread regarding the club’s financial status and future. It was enough to make fans’ blood curdle.

They went from optimistic to ominous in just a few short months

Milan 0, Juve 2: Trick or Treat

The Halloween tradition of trick-or-treating has really become a way for children to exploit their neighborhoods for free candy. But the origins were that the children would receive either a treat or perhaps a trick – a prank or something undesirable. This match was closer to that version of Haloween. Juventus got their treats, and Milan got tricked into keeping their coach despite yet another poor result.

Winning.

Milan-Juve Preview: Please Make It Stop

Despite a midweek win away to Chievo that was still underwhelming as far as performance, it feels like we have been hit by a bus… and then a train, a tank, and maybe impaled by a rocket. Between the poor morale and the even more poor performances, this is not the game we’d like to play this week. But here we are, facing Bonucci’s ex-club, but without Bonucci. Just please make it stop.

Seriously. Just make it stop already.

Chievo 1, Milan 4: When Donkeys Fly

You’ve heard the phrase “when pigs fly,” but almost equally unbelievable is when donkeys fly. At least that’s how it worked out for Milan. After a long string of poor performances but sometimes getting results, then a string of improving performance without results, Milan’s luck finally switched when facing the Flying Donkeys.

The donkeys were not the only ones flying

Chievo-Milan Preview: Grounded

Donkeys are not the most feared species on the planet. However flying donkeys are another thing altogether. And Chievo’s flying donkeys come into this match flying high in seventh place on the table. If Milan were playing as well as Montella deludes himself into thinking they were, this wouldn’t even be an issue, and we would also have a much higher spot on the table. However reality is very different from Montella’s perceptions and Milan are instead 11th on the table and plummeting. So Chievo are flying high and Milan are simply grounded.

Okay, some flying donkeys are to be feared

Milan 0, Genoa 0: Dismissed

In a must-win game, Milan played a very stale stalemate with the 17 th place Genoa. Most will argue that we drew because we played 65 minutes on ten men. However Milan took 17 shots with seven on goal, and still failed to convert. So it’s not as if they didn’t have their chances. But if we continue to play like this, our Champions League hopes will be all but dismissed.

VAR strikes when you least expect it

Milan-Genoa Preview: Hot Water

You have probably heard the analogy of the frogs in a pot. When placed in room temperature water in a pot, they are oblivious to the rising temperature of the water until it is too late and they cannot jump to safety. I feel like Montella and Milan have been starting to simmer in the heat of disappointing performances, and if they don’t start jumping now, it will be too late. Well at least for Montella, he definitely seems to be out of his element and in some very hot water.

Bertolacci in his rare upright, not rolling on the ground clutching his face position

Europa League • AC Milan 0, AEK Athens 0: Looking for Answers

Sometimes the result does not tell the entire story of a match. This was one of those matches. Milan had 60% possession, 24 shots and 9 on target, but still didn’t score. They played much better than they had in some losses, or even some wins, but still only got a point. Which opened up a lot of new questions, including many about whether or not Montella is fit for the job and how much longer they will give him. It also left everyone looking for answers.

A picture is worth so many missed chances

Europa League Preview • AC Milan vs. AEK Athens: Pitfall

Milan are supposed to be focusing on Serie A. And that’s not going well for us at all. With the poor mentality and even worse performances, how much will Montella and the boys focus on the Europa League? Will Montella give some players a rest that have been playing the majority of the games? Or will he take this opportunity to do some more experiments with tactics? The thing is, although we are supposed to be focusing on the league, we are needing more and more desperately to perform well in the Europa League. And it is at this point of increased desperation that we face the toughest opponent in our group, AEK Athens. It’s a danger that could be overlooked in light of all of the struggles, a potential pitfall.

Tied with Austria Wien, but could sting like a bee

In Defense of Bonucci

In these days of social media and instant news, even the more respected pundits make rash judgments and generalizations about players, coaches, and games. Especially when there is controversy, a precedent, or a bandwagon to jump on. Bonucci leaving Juventus and coming to Milan was the controversy of the summer in Serie A. But it also created a magnifying glass-like effect on everything he has done since he made the switch. Meaning that whatever he would do, good or bad, would be magnified hundreds of times by pundits, the media, social media, and both Milan and Juve fans. Despite this explosive and unforgiving climate, today I wanted to offer a few words in defense of Leonardo Bonucci.

Everyone asking questions about his form, but no one actually watching it

Inter 3, Milan 2: Snake Vomit

We’ve all seen times in life where the worst person gets away with murder, rape, or Calciopoli. And honestly, between Icardi and Inter, they have probably done all of that and more. But tonight Inter were the better team on the pitch for 90 minutes. And so as Milan fans, we are left cleaning the San Siro of all of that snake vomit before our Europa League clash on Thursday. You know, since Inter aren’t playing midweek at all.

The true Icardi hat trick... he looks like a moron no matter which hat he wears

Inter vs. Milan : Sent to Destroy

Kessie was Sent to Destroy

Inter vs. Milan Preview: So Much More Than Three Points

The Derby della Madonnina is more than just a football game, it’s a Derby like no other. This year, it’s even bigger than that. With both teams having been purchased by Chinese owners and hundreds of millions of Euros having been poured into them, the rivalry is even deeper and steeped in investment. Both teams are looking for a top four finish, and this is not just a mere three points in that race, either. So the usual pride and three points are not all that is at stake. With one team’s history filled with trophies won with beautiful football and the other team’s history filled with shame, cheating, and titles that don’t belong to them, the Derby would be fiery enough. But now that there are heavy investments and future success on the line, this Derby is so much more than three points.

He won't steal your wife, but he may steal your girlfriend's heart with his amazing goals

A Derby Like No Other

Il Derby della Madonnina is truly a derby like no other. It is fierce, yet it is family. It is fiery but not hostile. We share a stadium, a city, and our beginnings. And yet the two teams couldn’t be more different. In a world where derbies are so many things, this derby stands out for so many reasons.

The Baresi brothers were literal family, Franco being rejected by Inter ensured he was the ore successful one

Podcast: Borini for Captain

Milan are playing poorly, and mentality seems to be suffering. With three losses in seven league matches, everyone is getting stressed out. The players are under scrutiny. Montella particularly is under scrutiny. There have already been crisis meetings with Fassone and Mirabelli. But one solution has been largely overlooked, and this podcast reveals it: Borini for Captain.

The answer to life, the universe, and everything

The Case Against Montella

As soon as Bonucci was purchased from Juve, Montella’s free Milan ticket expired. No longer was he a pretty decent coach who did really well with no reinforcements. Now the questions started flying: Can he manage these players? Can he coach them to top four? Will he take this team to the Champions League and take Milan far into that competition? The fact is, the more a team spends in the mercato, the more pressure there is on the coach. And while people say that we should be patient and let the team gel, at the first sign of trouble, they are screaming for him to be sacked. But is there actual cause to sack him? Today I wanted to look at some of the reasons people are calling for his head, also known as the case against Montella.

The case against him is growing

Poll: Montella

On the last podcast, I mentioned that it was too early to sack Montella. My argument was that we needed consistency and that if we expected the team to gel, then we needed to have patience. But the next day, he sacked his longtime friend and fitness director. And not only did he sack him, he did it via social media. Then there was the Roma match, where his paralyzed coaching impacted the eight minutes of collapse that cost us points. Next up is the Derby, which is not only three very important points against a team that will likely challenge us for a top four spot, but it’s also a source of pride. Many fans have strong opinions about this… what is yours? Please take the poll below and then feel free to explain your choice in the comment section below.

For the purposes of this poll, his future is in your hands

Milan 0, Roma 2: Disbelief

It was unimaginable that a team with Champions League aspirations would lose three of their first seven matches, even if they were a new team with so many new players. It was impossible to think that a coach who was under fire would wait until his team conceded two goals and a player asking to be subbed before he made a single change. So difficult to understand how a team like Milan would play a game that was so much improved to recent matches against their toughest opponent yet, and then implode in the space of eight minutes to drop three points. At the final whistle, I think everyone was in a state of disbelief.

Disbelief