After the Fiorentina match, Gattuso confessed to being the
worst coach in Serie A. But he has a competitor for that title, which is
ex-goalkeeper Walter Zenga. Crotone’s current coach, Zenga, has a lot more
experience in Serie A and really anywhere stupid enough to hire him, but with
some varied results. In Serie A, however, his win average is pretty comparable
to Gattuso’s. But just for the fact that his aspiration is to coach Inter
someday (which I actually hope he does, so they can lose,) for me, he gets the
title of worst coach ever.
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| Do these glasses make me look smarter? |
I assume Zenga has good luggage, and keeps it ready for use throughout
the season. Crotone is his 17th unique club in his 20 years of
coaching experience. For him, I would guess that making it to the end of the
season is like winning the world cup. He’s a pretty terrible coach. But the
good news is that since he was brought in mid-season at Crotone, he only has to
do marginally better than Davide Nicola to last to the end of this season. And
so far, a single victory against Chievo in his first four matches in charge is
perhaps just marginally better than the man who saved Crotone from relegation last
year and then cycled 1300 km from Calabria to Turin to keep his promise.
Zenga’s latest test was hosting Napoli, in which Crotone
surprisingly made it very difficult for the league leaders to win 1-0. For that
match, he lined up Cordaz; Ceccherini, Simic, Martella, Faraoni, Barberis,
Mandrabora, Rohden, Budimir, Stoian, and Trotta. He’s still missing Tumminello
to an ACL injury from earlier this season, but other than that, he seems to have a
full frenzy of Squali, or sharks, to travel to the San Siro with.
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| The enthusiasm is overwhelming |
Gattuso will be missing Conti still, whom the club touted
this week will be our real signing for the January market (even though he’s not
expected back until early March.) He may have Kalinic at his disposal (which is
exactly where many Milan fans want him – in the garbage disposal.) The Croatian
striker is still injured, but recovering and may or may not make it on Saturday
afternoon. Storari, Abate, and Mauri definitely won’t be available. But there
aren’t really any excuses there for Gattuso, he should still be able to field a
solid starting 11.
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| Now this guy I would be motivated by |
If we are trying to decide which coach is worse, Gattuso has
a record of three wins, three losses, and two draws in his eight games in
charge thus far in all competitions. He does have an infinitely better squad than Zenga, but it’s
hard to know which club has more problems and distractions off of the pitch. So
I guess it comes down to this face-off: Will Gattuso and his legions of devils
be able to take out Zenga’s Sharknado? In a way, this game will determine which
man really is the worst coach ever.
This post inspired by the music of Beck’s
“Loser”
Serie A Week 20
Milan vs. Crotone
Saturday, January
6 • 15:00 CET (9am EST)
This match will be
shown LIVE on RAI Italia in the U.S.
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