There is nothing more frightening than being accused of
territorial discrimination. Only slightly less frightening is playing Napoli.
Which means that we are in for a real frightfest. Because not only are we
playing Napoli, but we will be under scrutiny for territorial discrimination.
But at least I can help with the latter. Nothing I can do about facing Napoli,
we just have to hide under the covers and wait it out until it’s over.
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| These guys just heard they're coming to get us |
In order to avoid a hefty fine or ban for territorial discrimination, don’t say “Your city is trash.” Rather, use the more acceptable terminology of “You dwell in a place that is refuse collection challenged.” Never say “What’s happening down South?” Instead inquire “How are things going in the place with a lower latitude?” If you are tempted to say “Your owner is more explosive than Vesuvius,” perhaps you could say “De Laurentiis has the temperament of an active volcano.” You’re welcome. Now don’t spend all of the money I saved you in one place.
The part I can’t help with is Sarri’s Napoli. Falling behind
in the race for first, they are still potentially lethal and formidable, and
they will want all three points when they come to the San Siro on Sunday. They
took all three points from Chievo last Sunday, but only in stoppage time. For
that match, Sarri lined up Reina; Kouliabaly, Tonelli, Mario Rui, Hysaj,
Diawara, Hamsik, Allan, Mertens, Insigne, and Callejon. Mario Rui will be
suspended and I believe Ghoulam is still injured.
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| We'll be without our favorite security guards |
Gattuso has nearly a full squad, but the pieces he’s missing
are frightening in and of themselves. Bonucci will be suspended, and Romagnoli
is out injured. And of course Conti is out for the rest of the season.
Obviously Zapata and Musacchio will start in their places, replicating their
exciting pairing when they were at Villareal. Let’s just hope they can
replicate some of their best performances.
There is never a good time to face Napoli, but with us
losing to Juve, then drawing the last two, this seems like one of the times
that is even less opportune. I for one will be watching with trepidation. No,
let’s just make that bone chilling fear. Because not only am I now going to be
fined for territorial discrimination for saying things that every other club
would consider sporting taunts, but I have to watch my team face a team that
has shown they really know how to play football. And I’m not convinced we are
anything close to their level yet. Plus missing the rocks of our defense. Maybe
to a neutral fan this will be a good game, but for me, it’s going to be a
frightfest.
This post inspired by the music of
Danny Elfman
Serie A Week 33
Milan vs. Napoli
Sunday, April 15 •
15:00 CEST (9am EDT)
This match will be
shown LIVE on RAI Italia & BeIn Sports in the U.S.