Following two weeks of absolute turmoil at the club and with
no one officially hired to replace Fassone and Mirabelli, our squad face the
daunting task of focusing enough to play football again. After winning their
friendly 2-0 on Friday vs. Serie B side Novara, the guys hopped on two planes to
get to Los Angeles and have been maintaining a schedule that is difficult for
even the most fervent fans to successfully stalk them. Not that I would ever do
that, but how often do they come to Los Angeles? It’s been nine years since
they were last here, so of course I’ve been stalking them. You, know, for all
of you fans worldwide. Anyway, Wednesday night, at a stadium just 20 minutes
away from my house, they will take on one of those English teams that Americans
know the name of but have never actually seen them play. And I will be there.
Will Milan win? Probably not. But who cares? I’m just California dreamin’.
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| California Dreamin' |
What you need to know about Manchester United… they are
coached by ex-Inter boss Jose Mourinho, who talks about himself in the third
person and thinks he’s really special or something. Pretty sure I will have a
few chants for him. And with any luck, I’ll make him cry. Other than that…
Manchester United finished second in the Premier League, runners up in the FA
Cup, got to the round of 16 in the Champions League. Basically, they won
nothing last season. So they will be motivated to try to win the International
Champions Cup trophy so Mourinho can stop crying himself to sleep every night.
I hate watching men cry so much.
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| More emotional than a pregnant woman on estrogen |
Both teams will be without most of their players who played
in the World Cup still, but Mourinho has called up the following squad for this
tournament:
Goalkeepers: Sergio Romero, Joel Pereira, Lee Grant
Defenders: Antonio Valencia, Matteo Darmian, Diogo
Dalot, Timothy Fosu-Mensah, RoShaun Williams, Chris Smalling, Eric Bailly, Axel
Tuanzebe, Demetri Mitchell, Luke Shaw
Midfielders: James Garner, Ander Herrera, Andreas
Pereira, Scott McTominay, Ethan Hamilton
Forwards: Tahith Chong, Angel Gomes, Juan Mata,
Anthony Martial, Mason Greenwood, Joshua Bohui, Alexis Sanchez
They have been in the U.S. longer than Milan, having played Club
America to a riveting 1-1 draw in Arizona last Thursday. They also played MLS
side San Jose Earthquakes on Sunday, to an even more enthralling 0-0 draw. So
they will be looking to draw first blood with a victory on U.S. soil against
Milan. Whatever. Mourinho is still an Interista, so will always be a loser, no
matter what the scoreboard says.
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| We're not smiling, Capitano |
As if all of the turmoil in ownership and management wasn’t
enough to distract the players, it seems only a matter of time and details
before Bonucci leaves Milan. You know, that guy that held the team together
last year? Our singular World Class player and the man we entrusted with the
captain’s armband? Don’t get me started. I will give him a proper tongue
lashing for all of you when I see him. But that’s not the only drama. Now
Gattuso’s job is in question, with that creepy-mercenary-hair transplant-guy-that-demands-really-high-salaries
linked with the Milan bench. Which is seriously lame, because Gattuso has all
of the same grinta and the ability to put the fear of god into the players, but
is also Milan nel cuore, and still has all of his own hair. But you know that
he will give everything he has to Milan until they are stupid enough to try to
drag him out of the club, kicking and screaming. They don’t call him Ringhio
for nothing.
But I digress. Aside from these incredible distractions and
training in the 100°F+ (38°C) California heat while still jet-lagged, our guys
have a game to play. And these are the players Gattuso has called up for the
tournament:
Goalkeepers: Donnarumma A., Donnarumma G., Reina
Defenders: Abate Antonelli, Bellodi, Bonucci, Calabria, Musacchio, Rodriguez*,
Midfielders: Bertolacci, Bonaventura, Brescianini, Calhanoglu, Halilovic, Kessie, Locatelli, Mauri, Torrasi
Forwards: Borini, Cutrone, Kalinic, André Silva*, Suso, Tsadjout
Goalkeepers: Donnarumma A., Donnarumma G., Reina
Defenders: Abate Antonelli, Bellodi, Bonucci, Calabria, Musacchio, Rodriguez*,
Midfielders: Bertolacci, Bonaventura, Brescianini, Calhanoglu, Halilovic, Kessie, Locatelli, Mauri, Torrasi
Forwards: Borini, Cutrone, Kalinic, André Silva*, Suso, Tsadjout
*These players are supposed to be joining the team later this week after their post-World Cup vacations, so will not be available for this match.
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| The Devils brought a hellish heat with them |
I honestly don’t care what the final score is, I feel so
lucky just to be going to the game. I feel lucky that the players are here and
doing their best to keep it together with their whole world crumbling around
them. I hate Manchester United, the way you know you hate liver and onions
without even trying them. But as long as they don’t injure any of my players, I
will tolerate them for 90 minutes and try to be respectful. Except for
Mourinho, I’ve got eight years of pent up rival anger to serve to him. But I’ll
probably be too starstruck by all of our players to worry about that old
crybaby. Because my team have come to my town, and I get to watch a version of
them play under the California stars. I can’t think of anything more magical
than that. California dreamin’.
This post inspired by the Mamas and
the Papas’ “California Dreamin’”
AC Milan vs. Manchester United
Wednesday, July 25th
• 8:00pm PDT (Thursday, July 26 • 5:00am CEST)
at the StubHub
Center in Los Angeles, CA, USA
This match will be
shown LIVE on ESPN in the U.S.