Tuesday, January 29, 2019

Milan 2, Napoli 0: Double-barreled Miracle



On paper, I honestly seriously doubted we’d win this one. And when the lineups came out, I was quite certain we would lose. But then a miracle happened. Piatek scored a goal. Then another. And that’s all it took to knock Napoli out of the Coppa Italia and create a euphoria long missing at Milan. It was a regular double-barreled miracle.

The kind of celebration we could get used to

Sunday, January 27, 2019

Coppa Italia Quarterfinals • Milan-Napoli Preview: Part B



If it seems like just the other day you were reading a Milan vs. Napoli preview, you are not losing your mind, you were. Because we just played Napoli on Saturday, but in the league. While that one included an impressive display from Milan which resulted in a draw, taking points from Napoli, this one is a win or go home match. So ready or not, here comes Part B.

They share a common homeland, but on the pitch, they are mortal enemies

Saturday, January 26, 2019

Milan 0, Napoli 0: Parallel Universe



This was the kind of game that in recent years would have driven the best of Milan fans into their alcohol-stocked bunkers, just waiting for Napoli’s goal storm to steal all of our hopes and dreams… again. Worse that Carletto, like a loving father who left us for a younger, hotter woman, was in the opposite technical area. But our players decided to step it up when called upon, and this was not the day for the bunkers. Instead, Milan matched second place Napoli pace for pace, shot for shot, and most importantly, save for save. It was almost like some kind of parallel universe.

How many Napoli players does it take to stop Piatek?

Friday, January 25, 2019

Milan-Napoli Preview: Part A



As luck would have it, our opponents on Saturday in Serie A are also our opponents in the Coppa Italia quarterfinals on Tuesday. Even luckier, our former beloved Carletto is the manager. To add insult to injury, they currently sit in second place on the table, a full 13 points ahead of us, and have won their last three matches in a row. Don’t, worry, though, if things go as badly as they seem like they will on paper, we’ll have another chance to be destroyed by Ancelotti and his boys on Tuesday. This is only Part A.

Sweet if we win, painful if we lose

Wednesday, January 23, 2019

Podcast: Much Ado About Gattuso



Milan are back in fourth place, and despite a heartbreaking Supercoppa loss, seem bound and determined to fight for fourth, against all odds. This week, we looked more in depth at Gattuso and what kind of future he might have at the club.

Is he the coach for Milan right now?

Monday, January 21, 2019

Genoa 0, Milan 2: Secret Weapon



Genoa could have won this game. In fact, in the first half, I don’t think anyone would have been surprised if they would have won. But that was because our secret weapon was playing under the radar. When we released the full Borini, Genoa lost all sense of reason, and thus all hope of winning. Fabio Borini was our secret weapon.

All hail Borini

Sunday, January 20, 2019

Genoa-Milan Preview: Pre-existing Condition



In the American healthcare system, insurance providers sometimes refuse to cover medical expenses for conditions that they deem “pre-existing,” something the patient was known to have had prior to their coverage beginning. Which means that the patient does not get the healthcare they need, and/or they have to pay all of their own bills. Neither of which is helpful. This match with Genoa was changed to an earlier time because of a pre-existing condition. As in Deputy Prime Minister Matteo Salvini claims there was a pre-existing condition between fans, so decided to play the game six hours earlier. On a weekday. So the teams, the fans, and everyone else get screwed over because he thinks there is a pre-existing condition.

Gattuso is the grinta and the fire from the sidelines. Missing.

Friday, January 18, 2019

Getting it Wrong… Again



After Inter and Napoli fans clashed so horribly a few weeks back and Inter fans were found to have racially abused a player yet again, there was only one thing to be done: punish other clubs. Deputy Prime Minister Matteo Salvini, long-time Milan fan, vowed to meet with clubs and make changes, because no one should die because of football. Or something like that. So his solution was to move Milan’s away game to Genoa back to 3pm. On a Monday. Because… well, I’m still trying to work that out. All I know is that Italy are getting it wrong…again.

Some Milan fan...

Wednesday, January 16, 2019

Juventus 1, Milan 0: Vergogna



With everyone dissecting Banti’s calls with a microscope, or at least the ones that went against Milan, they seem to have forgotten the bigger shame: Serie A. The president of Serie A, Micciché, was patting himself on the back after the game for a successful event. He was bragging about forcing our two teams to play in a country devoid of human rights. Boasting about championing women’s rights because women were allowed to sit in the third tier of the stadium only, as if they were third class citizens. This is how he thinks he is successful, but he ought to be ashamed of himself. I know I’m ashamed. Vergogna.

Yeah, feels kinda like that

Monday, January 14, 2019

Supercoppa • Juventus-Milan Preview: Third Tier

This is supposed to be an epic matchup, a game that both entertains and is sporting. With Milan in the mix, that was already in question. However, the game itself is overshadowed by serious questions about human rights and gender discrimination in Saudi Arabia. For example, as a woman, if I were to attend this match, I would not be able to sit pitchside or even close at all. Because women are only allowed to sit in the third tier.

Livin' large

Saturday, January 12, 2019

Sampdoria 0, Milan 2: The Cutrone Factor



Nevermind that Sampdoria had more possession, more shots, and more shots on target. Nevermind that Giampaolo subbed very well, his subs making an impact, even when forced into an early sub due to injury. Nevermind that they were playing at home at the Marassi, which is one of the loudest, most intimidating stadiums in Italy. Sampdoria put forth their best effort, but they forgot about the Cutrone factor.

Never forget.

Coppa Italia • Sampdoria-Milan Preview: The Fabio Factor



Sampdoria have a striker who is nearly 36 years old and is having the season of his career. Fabio Quagliarella has twelve goals and five assists, including a goal and an assist against Milan in October. He recently tied Trezeguet’s record, set in 2005, of scoring in nine consecutive Serie A matches. The press has even linked him with Milan, should Higuain leave. And while that might be a little far-fetched, no one can deny the potential in this match of the Fabio factor.

Undeniably unstoppable

Wednesday, January 9, 2019

Waiting For UEFA

Yesterday, Elliott’s legal team met to discuss Milan’s UEFA sanctions ahead of a meeting with UEFA on Friday. It’s impossible to know what to expect from that meeting, since UEFA have been treating Milan very differently than comparable teams with comparable financial and management issues. But after they sent a warning letter to Milan about the purchase of Paqueta, it seems that our mercato is being held hostage yet again, as we are waiting for UEFA.

Held hostage by a power-obsessed UEFA

Sunday, January 6, 2019

Podcast: Midseason Reckoning



No one is more harsh on a team or its players than the team’s own fans, and that is why we do midseason player ratings. Fans got a little relief after a much needed win against the mighty SPAL, having survived the wreckage of a tedious December tailspin. Luckily, the players were rated for their entire season’s performances.

Okay, they might not be as excited about our reviews

Friday, January 4, 2019

FIGC Own Goal



They could have held the Supercoppa anywhere. It’s been held in the United States, China, Libya, and Qatar. But they chose Saudi Arabia. Not for the fans, not for the game, not for sport, but for money. They did not consider the potential backlash when the world learned what kind of a place the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia was. They just wanted a paycheck. And instead, they scored a massive own goal.

Spinning a terrible decision still doesn't justify that decision

Wednesday, January 2, 2019

Another Impoverished Mercato

Leonardo’s press conference the other day was another slap in the face to the reality of Milan’s January mercato. While fans have been dreaming of epic signings and googling how many billions the Elliott Fund are worth, the stark reality is that Leonardo and Maldini are in the vice grip of FFP (Financial Fair Play.) Their hands are tied and despite having access to extensive financial resources, Milan are looking at another impoverished mercato.

Please let them be smarter than that...