Just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse for Milan,
we face Juve on Sunday. Whether or not you buy into the whole
ref mythology, they are always tough to beat. Especially since their
wagebill is more than double ours, it really is almost
as if they buy results. Which they can afford to do because they own
their own stadium, hotel, and accused rapist. Truly, if this was even remotely
going to be a sporting match, it would be one thing. But with the lack
of character in their entire organization, it’s a match I’d rather not
have to play at all. And with Milan still
struggling to find our feet, this one will definitely be played on a
wing and a prayer.
 |
| Wait, I'm so confused... |
Juventus have had good games this season, but not many.
Everyone who was excited to see the elite team of Serie A play Sarri-ball have been
largely disappointed. But even if they have struggled in comparison to recent
years’ teams, they still win. Like Wednesday in the Champions League, for
example, it seemed as if they would fall to European powerhouse Lokomotiv
Moscow, when Aaron Ramsey “stole” Christiano Ronaldo’s goal. But in the end,
and I mean literally in stoppage time, Douglas Costa rescued his team from
embarrassment. Let us all pray for Aaron Ramsey, who for some reason found it
necessary to apologize to Ronaldo, even if Ronaldo hasn’t made a free kick all
season anyway.
Back to Serie A, though. Juventus played very
underwhelmingly in the Derby della Mole last weekend. While they managed to
beat 15th place Torino, it took a rare moment of brilliance from newcomer de
Ligt to give them the very ugly 1-0 win. For that match, Sarri lined up Szczesny;
Cuadrado, Bonucci, de Ligt, De Sciglio; Bentancur, Pjanic, Matuidi;
Bernardeschi; Dybala, and Ronaldo. Both Ronaldo and de Ligt have been listed as
doubtful due to minor injuries, but the latest reports indicate that both may be
available for this match. Sarri is still missing Chiellini, who was like the
cornerstone of this team, and the foundation for their defense. It is likely we
could face both of our traitorous exes in Higuain and Bonucci. And with our luck,
both would score on us. There is some guy called De Sciglio in their team, too,
whose name sounds familiar, but I can’t quite remember where I know his name
from.
 |
| Look like clowns, play like mercenaries |
Milan limp into this match with a mentality that is barely
alive at all. As if three ownership changes in two years after ten years of
decline at
the hands of Berlusconi and Galliani weren’t enough, Milan have also already
changed coaches this season. With so many young players and so much confusion, it has proven
to be very difficult for them to look or play like a team at all. Especially
with all
of the distractions off the pitch, too. The media as, well as fans on
social media and in the stadium have made things even worse with their entitled
whining and screaming.
Pioli
has his work cut out for him, and cannot possibly be looking forward to
Sunday. He is like the first responder to a terrible tragedy, and at times, it
seems like he may not survive, either. For this match, he is still missing
Musacchio, and now Castillejo, who got injured playing like a superstar on
Sunday. It seemed as if Suso might still miss, too, but he has been training
with the team most of the week, and looks to be fit. The unusual rumors are
floating around that Pioli may try a three man back line against Juve, starting a
3-4-2-1 with Theo Hernandez and Conti in the midfield, Rodriguez in the back
with Romagnoli and Duarte. It would be a bold move if it is true, but actually
might work. And by work, I mean keep the goal differential down a bit. Winning this
thing is just a pipe dream.
 |
| Ridiculously criticized by his own fans, Suso is our best chance at not humiliating ourselves |
The problem is that with Milan fans already competing with
Verona for worst fans in the league (at least Verona stick by their own team,)
and considering the seven
years of insane acrimony between these two clubs, this thing is more
likely to end like a bad family holiday dinner than a sporting football match.
No matter what Maresca does, both sets of fans will destroy him. No matter what
the final score is, both teams will go home unhappy. Truly, it would be so much
better if this match simply didn’t have to be played.
However, the match must go on. And Milan must step onto the
pitch in Turin to face those hideous clown kits, with a fan base that sometimes
supports the Milan players, at least one or two of them. Juve will probably still play awful, despite spending a king’s
ransom for the best players in the world. But they will almost undoubtedly win,
unless Maresca makes a Tagliavento-level mistake or something. So Milan will
need courage to stand up and play their best match of the season. And even
then, their fate rides only on a wing and a prayer.
This post inspired by the music of Blue
Öyster Cult’s (Don’t Fear) The Reaper
Serie A Week 12
Juventus vs. Milan
Sunday, November
10 • 20:45 CET (2:45pm EST)
This match can be
streamed LIVE on ESPN+ in the U.S.