Porn for Women...

...or How to Get a Girl to Like Football

Being a devoted football fan and also being female, I have been asked dozens of times how to convert a girl to football. For me, the attractive players did very briefly appeal to me, but just long enough for the game itself to win my heart. You can try many things to convert your girl, but in the end, there is only one true test to see if she’ll ever love the beautiful game: Porn for Women.

Men get all titillated when I say this because for men, porn means something completely different. But women are more cerebral, and it is hard to find ways to appeal to their visual side without spending a fortune at a jewelry store. So men in little to no clothing simply do not have the same effect on women as the reverse. Case in point - this photo of Fabio Cannavaro is an example of what men seem to think women like: (and some women do, but it’s still not the same…)

Unfortunately, men seem to know more about what men want, because this picture (and many other pictures like it) can be found primarily on gay men’s websites. Review: gay men like naked men, women not so much.

What does appeal to women whether we like it or not is a man who is good with kids. We are wired to bear and raise children, so whether we think about it consciously or not, whether or not we ourselves even like kids, watching men who are good with kids is like porn for us. (And don’t take it to that level, if you want your girl to like football, FOCUS!!) There is nothing more attractive to a woman than watching a man who is good with kids, so it is natural that using images of footballers with their kids can help pique a woman’s interest in the game itself.

If a woman can look at all of these images of these past and present Milan players with their kids and not feel something or indicate any interest in the game whatsoever, then you might want to find out if she’s really a woman. Otherwise, you are definitely out of luck and you should either find a new woman or resign yourself to a life watching matches alone and being harassed by her about how much time you spend watching football, etc. The sooner you find out and choose your fate, the better.

WARNING: This blog or its bloggers are not responsible for said woman NOT choosing Milan as her team. You should know by now that teams choose the person. Also, side effects may include setting off her biological clock, so exercise caution when sharing this with her.

Zlatan Ibrahimovic and sons

Kevin Prince Boateng and son

Alessandro Costacurta and son

Gennaro Gattuso and daughter

Paolo Maldini and son

If the video below is no longer working, try HERE

Special thanks to Pragathish for originally sending me the video, he definitely knows what girls like. 

This post was compiled under the musical inspiration of The Cocteau Twins "Blue Bell Knoll" album