Buckle Up

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We are approaching uncharted waters and the weather reports indicate possible storms ahead. Additionally, we are having technical difficulties that might contribute to a little bit of a bumpy ride. Please remain calm and fasten your seatbelts, and I am sure we will all get through this together. And thank you for flying Milan Obsession.

Prepare for takeoff

Perhaps that message sounds a bit ominous, but it never hurts to be prepared. Although after the turbulence of this summer, this season may actually seem like smooth flying. Certainly, it will be great to be back on board for the season. We’ve looked at our flight plans, identified the hazards, and prepared the equipment. So as our Serie A season taxis onto the runway for takeoff on Sunday, let’s look at some of the potential destinations for Milan this season. Don’t forget to buckle up!

Not the Island destination of your dreams

Injury Island

Having spent way too much time here the past couple of seasons, Milan often seem more native than the natives. With Pato Peak being the island’s tallest mountain, it seems we are in danger of crash landing near the top. We have also been offered a 6 month stay on Mount Muntari, so it seems our destination is already being chosen for us. We'll be spending two months or so in Didac Vila Valley, too. Abate and Ambrosini have also opted for short stays on the island and will thus miss the season opener, but should be back on board soon. Despite taking drastic steps to avoid the island by changing the pilot and crew members of Milan’s athletic training staff and also changing the pitch at the San Siro, it seems likely we will spend a fair amount of time on this horrible island destination this year. But we can only hope that our efforts to avoid the island will pay off, as we really do not have the squad depth or numbers that we had last year. If we do go back to the island, expect the worst, as it will be difficult to compete on all three fronts with this squad already. Or perhaps we will end up recalling some Primavera players from their loans and find out what our youth really is made of. Either way, we should do everything possible to navigate away from this nightmare.

Our depth is so poor, we put our old coach on the bench just to fill a seat

Depth Valley

When a club gets altitude sickness, an illness caused by too much success, they are bound to come crashing down to Depth Valley. Depth Valley is a barren wasteland inhabited by teams who have lost their squad depth.  Sure, some teams here have a decent starting lineup. Some even have a few decent backups. But teams like Milan, who have been completely overhauled this summer and are still missing some parts in the starting lineup, can easily get stranded here, particularly when competing in the Champions League and Coppa Italia as well as the league. When you consider that some of Milan’s starters should really be bench players, and the bench players should maybe be playing in a lesser league, Milan is surely destined to spend some quality time in this wasteland this year.

Surprise!

Sea of Surprise

Within the spectacularly beautiful Sea of Surprise is the tiniest little island. So tiny, most pilots can’t even see it, let alone land there. But that island is the ultimate paradise for football fans because if you can land there, it will take your inexpensive, unknown footballers and turn them into fantastic players in a single season. Nocerino, for example, was a product of a successful landing on that island last year. Certainly, Milan have purchased enough inexpensive, unknown footballers this year to have a chance of it happening again. Except that’s not necessarily how it works. To be able to land on the island takes more than the skill of Galliani and all of his scouts, it also takes a lot of luck. So don’t hold your breath that Milan will make it there again this year. But even if we miss that island, we are likely to have some breakout players like Urby who may not ever be Ballon d’Or candidates, but will do what it takes to get the wins. And that is enough of a surprise for me.

Those are just a few destinations our flight path could lead us to this season. This summer’s turbulence has caused us to consider landing in places we haven’t visited in a long time, both good and bad. But in the end, it’s not where we end up that matters as much as the fact that we all got on the same plane together to enjoy the ride. Whether we are flying over beautiful destinations, experiencing frightening technical difficulties or are plummeting from the sky in danger of crashing, we are all passengers together. I would just like to say to the passengers of the Milan Obsession community that it is an honor to fly with all of you. Whether flying high with Milan’s 18th Scudetto or plummeting from the sky with all engines dead like this summer, it is such a pleasure to share the vast array of experiences of the Milan skies with all of you. Thank you. And now, buckle up. This season could be a very bumpy ride.

This post inspired by the music of Machines of Loving Grace

Our next match is

Milan vs. Sampdoria

Sunday, August 26th • 18:00 CEST (12noon EDT)