Breakfast with Thor

Everyone dreams of meeting a Superhero, but not everyone dreams of meeting them over a stack of hot waffles. I do. I dreamt that I met Captain Massimo Ambrosini, also known as Thor, for breakfast. And here’s how that went….

Me: Thank you so much for meeting me for breakfast, il Capitano. It is such a pleasure to meet you. My son is also called Massimo, so I have a special place in my heart for you. How do you feel things are going at Milan?

Ambrosini: Wow, it is a great name. How are things at Milan? Well, there have been a lot of changes, but I think that we are doing better than expected with those changes this season. I am very happy with our success so far, and very eager to keep winning.

Me: Speaking of all of the changes, what is it like to have so many young teammates, players who are nearly young enough to be your own children?

Ambrosini: (laughs) Well, I would be a very young father! But sometimes we do have them around for playdates with our children. And sometimes trainings feel a little bit more like babysitting.

Me: Who would you say gets into the most mischief on the team?

Ambrosini: Well, he is not so young, but it is Robinho. He took over when Cassano left of being the biggest child.

Me: And who surprises you most with their maturity?

Ambrosini: De Sciglio, definitely. If he didn’t look so young, I would say that he is at least ten years older.

Me: How do you get along with Balotelli?

Ambrosini: He is very professional. A little childlike, but very professional. I had heard in the past that he had problems, but so far, he is just so happy to be at Milan. It is a pleasure to have him in the squad. I will say, though, that the rest of us are all planning interventions should he act up again. My plan is to distract him by offering him fake fireworks. By the time he figures out they are not real, he will have calmed down.

Me: Balotelli came in after the team walked off the pitch in Busto Arsizio because of the racist actions of their fans. You went out to the pitch and led everyone off, even if Boateng’s frustrated kicking of the ball into the stands has gotten so much more attention. What made you act that day?

Ambrosini: Common decency? I have seen my fellow players be abused before, and I could see that the ref was not listening to our players. No one should be treated like this, and I wanted my teammates to know that we are all the same.

Me: Would you do it again? Even in a big game?

Ambrosini: Yes, absolutely. This is a problem that will not go away by ignoring it.

Me: Speaking of problems that will not go away, what do you think of the rumors that Allegri could go to Roma next year?

Ambrosini: He has said nothing to me, and I think these are just rumors that are made to sell papers. He has done a lot with this team, and I think he deserves to stay at Milan for longer.

Me: Speaking of staying at Milan longer, your contract ends this summer. If you were offered another year would you take it?

Ambrosini: Of course. I would like to end my career at Milan, even if I understand that they are looking to keep a young squad. I can’t picture playing for another team.

Me: Rumors say that you may move to America and the MLS in order to keep playing longer, is that true?

Ambrosini: That is appealing, as it is a great place for my family. I hear Nesta is very happy playing there.

Me: One more question, as I know you are busy. Milan has trademarked “Creste Rossonere.” If Milan finish well this season, will you join your teammates and cut your hair, too?

Ambrosini: (laughing) I don’t know if my wife would let me. And I don’t know if I can pull it off. But if we win a trophy, I will consider it.

Me: Thank you so much, Captain Ambrosini. Milan are very lucky to have you still. Our boys are lucky to rub shoulders with you.

When I woke up, I couldn’t figure out if it was real or just a dream. But one thing was for certain, I had a serious craving for some waffles…

This post inspired by the music of The Ramones

Our next match is

Genoa vs. Milan

Friday, March 8 • 20:45 CET (2:45 EST)
(Preview up tomorrow)