Milan 2, Roma 1: Looking Good

As a woman and fashion designer, I know very well that when you look good, you feel good. And if you feel good, you are better at whatever you do. It’s called confidence. Tonight was no exception. After about five years of poor home kits, Milan unveiled next season’s sleek new kit, and the boys answered with a 2-1 defeat of second place Roma. Because it’s all about looking good.

It's all love and hugs in the new kits

After having had to wear Galliani’s “Brazilian-inspired” baby yellow third kit and the Casa Milan-influenced 50 Shades of Red home kit throughout the season, it’s no wonder that we hardly recognized this team tonight. They were confident from kickoff and played better than they have in a number of matches for the whole 90 minutes.

Here’s a new equation for you, Inzaghi: Honda minus Menez equals BEAST. Honda assisted both goals and singlehandedly tormented Roma the entire 90 minutes. The first goal came in the 39th, when he sent in a great cross for van Ginkel, who was sandwiched between Nainggolan and De Sanctis, but cooly sent it past the keeper for his first goal in the Milan shirt.  1-0 Milan.

"If I score a goal, Chelsea will want me back"

Of course, that was just two minutes after De Sanctis had a miracle save on a powerful Bonaventura header, such bad luck for our Lucky Jack. But it was okay, because after the half, in the 58th to be exact, Destro headed in another great Honda cross against the team who owns him… and celebrated, too. 2-0 Milan.

The yellow cards really started to fly. Roma picked up three by the 65th, then Milan answered back with four: Destro in the 70th, Alex in the 72nd, Abate in the 88th, and Mexes in the 91st. But that’s really the Tagliavento way. And speaking of the legendary Tagliavento, He also awarded a weak penalty to Roma in the 72nd for a De Jong “foul” on Iturbe. De Jong collided with Iturbe after he had kicked the ball away, but hey, that’s more contact than most Tagliavento penalty calls have. So Totti took the penalty for Roma and converted it, even if Diego Lopez almost got the save. 2-1 Milan.

"I'll teach you to loan me to this club who are playing like crap!"

Mexes, clearly miffed that De Sciglio holds the record this season for the fastest red card, got his yellow after only six minutes on the pitch. He simply ran out of time for the second, such a shame. It would have been great to be sent off against his old club. And speaking of being sent off, Inzaghi was sent off by Tagliavento in stoppage time for his protests. At least now we know where the grinta supply is.

Honda was the Audi MOTM...
    --Car and Driver Magazine

Not only were they looking good in the new kits, the confidence had them playing well, too. I almost forgot that I was watching Milan, there were glimmers of something I remember from the past… I think it’s called “football?” I’m not sure, it’s been so long. But after this season I know better than to get my hopes up for any kind of consistency. The only thing consistent about this club this year is the immature, myopic, and self-centered protests of the Curva Sud, who looked like idiots tonight with a crowd of over 35,000 and the new kits and their team playing well while they were at the salon or whatever. But that’s okay, because those of us who actually bleed red and black were watching this one great game. A reward for suffering through watching the rest of this season. And it was just a bonus that the 11th place team beat the second place team while looking good.

This post inspired by those beautiful, amazing, fantastic, sleek new kits

Our next match is

Sassuolo vs. Milan

Sunday, May 17 • 12:30 CEST (6:30am EDT)