The Allegri Effect™

Saturday we face off with an opponent that is all too familiar. No, I’m not talking about Juventus, I’m talking about Allegri. Massimiliano Allegri are two words which still strike fear in the hearts of many Milanisti, despite the fact that he won a Scudetto and a Super Coppa trophy during his three and a half years at Milan. The first year was the honeymoon period, but the two and a half years after that scarred many Milanisti for life. It’s a little phenomenon I like to call the Allegri Effect.™.

A picture is worth a thousand hapless performances

Some claim that it’s too early to label this phenomenon, having only destroyed one club so far in the second year. Juventus fans are remarkably optimistic about their second season with Allegri, despite the fact that it’s already going down the toilet. It started with winning the Super Coppa in China, then a terrible start to the season coupled with a lot of injuries, and there you have it: the Allegri Effect™ is in full swing. But it’s more than just injuries and poor performances and results. I wrote about Allegri’s demise in my eyes while he was still at Milan, about what went wrong. And I wrote more about his failings in my breakup letter after he was sacked.

But to fully understand the Allegri Effect™, you may want to understand the man behind the legend. Despite all of his delusions, he does know a thing or two about coaching. Which is why he won the Scudetto and Coppa Italia last season and took Juve all the way to the Champions League final. In fact, after discussing Allegri a little bit on the podcast the other day, I was talking to David about Allegri. I said the following, and David was so shocked, he tweeted it for all to see:

'Allegri is the best coach in Serie A over the last five years' says @milanobsession

— David Swan (@DavidLSwan) November 15, 2015

That’s right, I did actually say that. But it is not so much a compliment to Allegri as it is a condemnation of Serie A. Think about it: Allegri has won two Scudetti in the last five, with two different teams. He has had more success in the Champions League than any other Serie A manager, and despite the two and a half years of pain he inflicted on Milan after the Scudetto year, he still has the second highest winning percentage of any Milan coach ever. So despite bleaching my eyes out, tossing my cookies, and setting up a special suicide hotline for Milan fans during Allegri’s tenure, he’s still the best over the past five years in Serie A. #PrayForAllTheOtherTeams

Still, I can’t help but have schadenfreude for Juventus, as they are only beginning to realize the horrors of Allegri year two, aka the Allegri Effect™. Even if Milan are in terrible shape ourselves, it has been simply delightful to watch him draw with Frosinone and Chievo, lose to teams like Sassuolo and Udinese, and more. Not just because Juventus are rivals, but because we are on the other side of Allegri. A place that makes a year with Inzaghi seem like sunshine and rainbows. Allegri may have trophies and winning records, but he has also single-handedly dismantled his four consecutive Scudetto-winning side in just a few months. So win, lose, or draw on Saturday, at least we can hold our heads high knowing that Juve will be stuck with the Allegri Effect™.

This post inspired by the music of Pharell’s “Happy”

Our next match is

Allegri vs. Milan

Saturday, November 21 • 20:45 CET (2:45pm EST)