An AC Milan Christmas

It’s Christmas Eve, and around the world many Milan fans should be spending time with those they love and sharing laughter and good times together. But this year being a Milan fan was more like getting only coal, so it may be difficult to be happy. As a gift to you this Christmas, I would like to offer some suggestions for Milan fans to still be able to enjoy their Christmas this year.

Stay Thirsty, My Friends

Around the holidays, there is a lot more alcohol around than usual. And anyone who survived The Most Interesting Coach in the World and the subsequent events at Milan knows that drinking has become a survival technique. So Christmas is a blessing, as it will be the one time during the year that no one notices how much you’re drinking. Drink up!

The Poor Kids

No matter how poor you are, there is usually someone worse off than you. With Santa’s bag of transfer rumors already overflowing, it’s best to count the gifts we’ve already gotten than to expect anything more this next year. Well we’re bringing Boateng back and loaning out Suso, so if that isn’t a big fat lump of coal, I don’t know what is. But poor kids don’t dream of sugarplums. They count their blessings. So unless you’re planning on maintaining your holiday alcohol intake throughout the January mercato, try counting the expensive gifts we’ve already been given. Because Silvio’s mad, and he’s probably not spending a single euro when he’s angry. (And no, free transfers aren’t actually free, so don’t even go there.) Sometimes happiness is achieved with a dose of reality.

Looking Back

Often as fans, it is tempting to look back at the good times, especially when the bad times just keep going. Counting Champions League trophies, looking at YouTube videos of ex-stars and big wins… it’s enough to make a sober person pick up a glass and start drinking. But the above video is a great way to look back and still be happy. Only two of those players stayed at the club, one left on loan and then came back. Oh, and one left and is coming back… but if this kind of reminiscing makes you sad, just remember creepy Amelia and De Sciglio dancing with antlers on his head. I hear it’s even funnier when you’ve had a drink or two.

I think there is a trend here… alcohol and Milan are still intertwined. So the key to being happy this holiday season is still drinking. After all of the drinking games we’ve played during matches, it’s not enough to simply avoid reality during the games. If we are to find the strength to smile at all of Uncle Fred’s bad jokes and compliment Nonna’s heartfelt cooking, we may need a little something extra this year. Despite some little blips on the vital signs of AC Milan, the team is still in critical condition. But it doesn’t have to ruin your holidays. Just like in any other dysfunctional family, we can self-medicate.

Have a very Merry Christmas, wherever and however you are celebrating. Thanks for reading, commenting, participating in and listening to the podcast, and all that you do to help all of us survive the Milan experience together. And here’s to a better new year!

Buon Natale e Forza Milan!