Milan 3, Frosinone 3: Sucking Less Isn’t Success

In addition to the 6am time for this match for me, I was not looking forward to it. Nor was I looking forward to writing about it. So instead, I offer you my notes from the match and will let you draw your own conclusions as to how I felt about it.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again... like the 24 shots, 11 on goal Milan took against the 19th place team

This match is perhaps the worst way possible to celebrate the birthday of a Milan legend.

2’ OMG Paganini scores. I truly may not survive this one.

5’ Gori fouls Mauri. Don’t swarm the ref, guys, that was as obvious as your goal.

6’ Balotelli’s free kick blocked

Look at Brocchi, he’s soiled his pants. He is so far in over his head, he doesn’t even know what to do.

8’ Wow, a rare Donnarumma slip up…. wait, he’s got it, of course #NeverDoubtTheKid

10’ Yellow card for Sammarco

12’ Kucka header past far post

15’ Montolivo falls awkwardly and is slow to get up… fans everywhere hold their breath and pray for the stretcher… oh wait, he’s up. And I was so looking forward to those vacation pics.

18’ Oooh… Bacca getting physical. He must be so very frustrated with this nightmare. Sadly, I hope for his sake he gets to move on to a better club.

18’ Bacca shot just won’t go in

19’ Yellow card for Gori

De Sciglio’s face nicely bandaged from that horror wound last week. Wonder how they keep that tape sticking so well?

24’ Bacca takes an extra step and misses his chance on goal.

25’ Balotelli’s free kick whiffed by Romagnoli

26’ Balotelli yellow card… I think he wants out of this match (and maybe the next one)

28’ Balotelli shot from distance saved by Bardi

I’m more hungry than disappointed. And that’s a lot.

31’ Kucka powerful shot saved by Bardi

Watching this Milan is like watching a large dog trying to get into a small dog door.

Things are heating up when they have to break out the GLT

39’ Bacca header, again no goal. I’m sure that Brocchi will commend them for their number of chances taken, though.

40’ Bardi yellow card

41’ Balotelli wants a penalty, none given. Keep it together, guys. The ref calls are final.

42’ Honda shot saved

44’ Kragl goal in the 44th. 2-0 Frosinone. If you’ve seen the Lego movie, now you know why people fear the Kragle.

45’ Kucka & Kragl yellows. Kucka just standing there, the Kragl pushed him over and over. Seems legit.

45’ Galliani not in his seat. How can he and Berlusconi make decisions about this team if they don’t even watch?

HALFTIME: Milan 0, Frosinone 2

The love of a father... Antonelli promised his wife he'd score a goal and dedicate it to their baby girl.

47’ Russo yellow, Milan given a penalty. Balotelli takes it… and it’s saved by Bardi! Milan can’t even accept a gift anymore.

50’ Bacca goal! Finally! From an Abate cross. 2-1 Frosinone.

54’ Alex major blunder, lack of speed punishes us, Dionisi scores. 3-1 Frosinone.

54’ Dionisi takes off his shirt to reveal a touching tribute to Morosini, gets the yellow card anyway. (stupid rules)

60’ Honda scores, but it is called back for offside.

64’ Adriano on for Honda… why? Honda has been one of the best players out there! Are we trying to lose?

67’ Pryyma on for Crivello

73’ Antonelli on for Abate (maybe he’s injured?)

73’ Gucher on for Dionisi

74’ Antonelli goal! Proud papa of all of 24 hours scores immediately! Great bicycle kick, too. Wow. 3-2 Frosinone

78’ Menez on for Mauri… it’s like Brocchi has Berlusconi’s eye disease and is intentionally subbing off the players who are playing the best for players he thinks are “fantasista” players

Bardi injured… probably still won’t cramp his style. Magic spray to the rescue!

80’ Rosi on for Kragl… Legos everywhere can breathe a sigh of relief

So as another match starts to fizzle out while we are down to the 19th place team, my mind moves on to the rest of my day/week… what do I need to get at the grocery store?

90’ Pryyma yellow, penalty given to Milan… Frosinone showing they can also play with their hands

90 + 1’ Menez converts penalty to equalize 3-3. I’m glad he still remembers how to hold up 7 fingers… wonder what he’ll do if he gets a number higher than 10 at his next club?

It’s a miracle. What a comeback. We even managed to convert 1 of 2 penalties!

90+5’ Balotelli hits the bar… story of his afternoon. But I feel worse for Frosinone, they deserve more.

Milan 3, Frosinone 3  FINAL

This was like 2012 Milan. Someone draw the sketchy penalty, then score. 

Well that went from bad to almost not sucking too hard. I mean we drew with the 19th place team in our own house… YES! The team that we beat 4-2 before Christmas. Seventh place? There are no limits. Maybe we could fall even further in the next two games. Berlusconi, you really need to get your eyes checked. And maybe your head. And pretty much everything. This season is not even going down the toilet, it’s a backed up toilet. We can’t count on you to remove your death grip on the club, either, so there really just isn’t any hope at this point. Thanks for that. Now somebody please call a plumber…

This post inspired by the music of NIN’s “Down In It”

Our next match is

Bologna vs. Milan

Saturday, May 7 • 20:45 CEST (2:45pm EDT)