Even Though Our Love is Doomed

Many of you have noticed that I usually include a musical inspiration at the end of each post, a little personal touch that either ties into the post and/or was what I was actually listening to when I wrote. But today, I am taking the lyrics from a new favorite song of mine to create the post itself, as they so perfectly express how I feel about Milan lately. The band is called Garbage, the song is “Even Though Our Love is Doomed” (and the album comes out later this week.) While I seriously doubt that Scottish lead singer Shirley Manson or any of her American bandmates are Milan fans, if you listen to the song, you’ll see they capture how it feels to be a Milan fan right now very, very well. Eerily well.

I’m getting desperate… desperate for a revolution… every day that goes by that Berlusconi still owns the club feels like I am drowning. I try coming up for air, but every single thing the club does is like another rock tied to my feet, weighing me down. Somehow I keep getting air, but it feels more desperate as time goes by, as if one of these days, I truly will drown. I am so desperate for change.

I need to understand why we kill the things we love the most… Seedorf, Inzaghi, Mihajlovic… all of the beloved players who were sold, and some then attempted to bring back to no avail… Maldini and other legends being shut out by management. I need to understand why a club who won so much would shun the very people who gave it success, gave it new life.

And even though our love is doomed… And even though we’re all messed up… We’re still waiting for tomorrow, we’re still aching for tomorrow… no matter what the results or performance are on the pitch, no matter what Berlusconi or Galliani say or do… we cling to hope, we cling to faith. It’s almost futile, really, but we always try to find someone or something to believe in. Something to justify the time and passion we give so foolishly to this sinking ship.

And even though your love is cruel… And even though our stars are crossed… Transfer nightmares, sacking coaches, insulting the fans, extending players who are undeserving, assigning the armband to those who are unworthy… the cruelty of this management knows no bounds. We may never again see the level of success or even the level of football Milan once had… but it doesn’t stop our hearts from bleeding red and black. Though everyone and everything around us tells us that we are worshipping in vain, we wouldn’t know how to stop loving Milan if we tried. Such a dysfunctional relationship.

You’re the only thing worth fighting for… You’re the only thing worth dying for… waking up at 3am… fighting terrible streams that stutter and stop just to catch a glimpse of a friendly match… watching another lackadaisical performance resulting in a scoreless draw to a 20th place team… again. Something in our souls compels us to keep fighting, keep watching, and maybe even to keep drinking… even if our liver fails.

Maybe I should break the chain…Maybe I should break the connection… maybe I could give Milan up… find another team, find another sport, find another hobby. But no matter how painful, how numb I try to become to the pain, gameday comes again and I find myself in front of the TV.

…devoured by our  Obsession.

All lyrics in bold by Garbage, copyright 2016