Holding Grudges

If you don’t know by now that I hate Inter or how much I hate Inter, you’ve never read here before or followed me on Twitter. It’s more than just a familial hate or some cross-city rivalry. I literally and completely hate them. The biggest reason is for their roles in Calciopoli and their denial of justice since then. But there are plenty of other reasons, too. And for all of those reasons, I condone holding grudges.

Saying that Inter "Never get any joy" is like saying water is wet. It's freaking Inter.

I swear that in the hundreds of Inter fans I have interacted with online, maybe two could actually string a complete sentence together. I’m not saying that Inter fans are stupid. Just that they are less proficient in basic mental tasks than pretty much everyone else. But then again, anyone with a below average IQ would not choose to support such a vile, unrepentant, sleazy club. So that explains a lot.

Inter fans don’t like when we call their club “Inter.” They want us to use the whole long Italian word. But they can’t even spell it themselves, so I never bother. They’re not worth the keystrokes necessary to type it. Maybe after they mature beyond a six year-old developmentally disabled child level… wait, that’s a massive insult to a six year-old developmentally disabled child. So sorry about that. Especially because even those children have a moral compass.

Pretty sure Barbie herself has more brain cells than Inter fans, and would never dress like this, either

Speaking of a moral compass, I thought that the Curva Nord had found one when Icardi released his book and they called for his head. Then I realized they were just mad because he disparaged and lied about them. So no moral compass. But then again, it’s more plain than the nose on one’s face that a club that hands an armband to such a horrifically depraved player would have no moral compass. And I’m not just talking about Icardi’s reprehensible personal life. The man dives and whines better than a Barca player. Which is why he was friends with Maxi Lopez in the first place. Then he stole his wife. And his kids. And posted pictures of them online without permission. Then Wanda stole Maxi’s passport. And so on and so forth. But let’s not even consider his personal life. Not even Barca would keep a player like that. A real man wouldn’t shake hands with such a deplorable, loathsome excuse for an oxygen-sucker.

You're just full of good choices, aren't you, Nerazzurri numbskulls

So if that is their captain, how do fans follow that train wreck? Their disgusting club has spent so much on quality players over the last few years with so few results. Then this year, they started by chasing off Mancini two weeks ahead of the season. I’m sure he left because he realized there was no more wire tapping, therefore no more winning. Then they hired De Boer, a coach whose work I really admired, particularly his work in the lower half of the table. But their fans barely seem to care, they’re still too busy whining about the ref calls in the last game or crying because their stupid club lost again. If stringing a sentence together is beyond them, they clearly can’t tell the difference between seventh and 17th on the table. Which is great, because I want to be the one who teaches them what the word “relegated” means.

Waaaahh. Choose a better club next time.

The bottom line is that my hatred for them has no bottom line. They have mentally deficient, crying, whiny, pathetic, moral-less fans. They have a captain who is more vile and detestable than any super villain ever imagined. They spend their money foolishly and choose their coaches even more foolishly. Their Curva Nord is more self-centered than our Curva Sud, but with a fraction of the brain cells and absolutely no creativity. Those who orchestrated Calciopoli may have moved on, but Inter have still never won anything without taking down an entire league and preying on the players of those they wronged. I normally don’t preach hate or holding onto the past. But for me, this Sunday and every Derby, it’s all about holding grudges.

Also, if you’re looking for ways to get ready for Sunday, you should read last year’s “Things to Do Before the Derby.” We all need to help each other prepare for battle.

This post inspired by the music of NIN “Pretty Hate Machine”

Our next match is

il Derby della Madonnina

Milan vs. Inter

Sunday, November 20 • 20:45 CET (2:45pm EST)