Get Over Me

After a two year long abusive hostage relationship with Yonghong Li, Elliott Management Corporation stormed the building, took him down, and transferred us to a more stable rehabilitation center. It is reported that they will now hold us for another three years to further “rehabilitate” us. Odd that we would feel safer with the vultures in rehab, but after what we’ve been through, it really does feel more stable somehow. Just when I was emotionally preparing myself for the vulture mercato, though, Yonghong Li wrote an open letter to everyone, including us fans. So I decided to write a letter back. The message? Get over me.

Hell hath no fury...

Dear Yonghong Li,

I was skeptical of our relationship from day one. Lots of men in my life have made promises to me that they couldn’t keep. But you took advantage of the fact that I had been abused by Berlusconi for all of those years. That wasn’t cool.

You kept me waiting… first through one mercato, where we couldn’t make any changes to speak of. Then through the first half of the season. I don’t like to be kept waiting. But still, you dragged me along, leading me to believe you would close the deal before the January mercato. Instead, you kept making excuses and not paying the tab for dinner for 11 months. Do you know what another man could have done for me in 11 months? But you neglected me in my time of need, and yet another mercato came and went while you were still making excuses. I will never forgive you for that. Ever.

You made Jack cry

When you bought the club, you chose two inexperienced Interisti to run it. It’s like you don’t even know me. I should have known when Maldini said no to you that I had no business being with someone like you. And even though you came good and bought me a bunch of good players last summer, it simply was too little too late. And yet it was too much to allow us to do anything this year in January. That’s one fat mercato and three starving ones in the two years since you came around. If we had spread those purchases out over the four transfer windows since you started making empty promises, Milan could have maybe even made it back to Champions League last year, if not for sure this year. And we wouldn’t have broken FFP guidelines the last two years, either.

Speaking of FFP, all of our problems with UEFA happened because of you and your bad choices. Do you usually try to get the women you date arrested when you take them out? Sure, they said it was about the “break even” of Berlusconi’s era, but if you read their explanation, it was all about you. You chose to scavenge amongst the vultures and sign your life away because you were too financially impotent to take care of the club properly. And also your Interisti puppets with their unrealistic business plans that you approved. Getting us banned was all on you.

You couldn't find people from any other club?

That’s not all, either. Because you weren’t the man you said you were, you dragged my reputation through the mud. And even if I pointed out the payments you made and I tried to defend you against the lies, you made it impossible for anyone to believe me. But no one believed Milan, either, and now our club has lost so much in both value and reputation. All because of you. Any players who walk away now are all on you, too. You have literally destroyed that thing you say you love.

You claim to love me, you claim to love Milan. But you don’t even know how to love, let alone protect your investments. Who the hell throws away €800m? You had the chance to let someone respectable take care of me, and cut your losses, too. But you were too caught up in minutia, not thinking of me or the club or even of what was best for you. That doesn’t make you a dreamer, that just makes you an idiot.

I never want to see your stupid lying idiot face ever again

And now you attack the vultures that you brought into my house? How dare you. I didn’t let them in, you did. You signed your life away. You signed my heart away. And I had no say in the matter at all. You wasted two years of my life and destroyed the club I bleed for. Well you know what? Vultures are a step up from your miserable, pathetic, excuse-ridden, lying insolvent failure. You made me promises that we both knew you couldn’t keep, the least you could do now is to shut up, walk away, and pretend to be a man. Don’t try to make it worse, we’ve all suffered enough. Just leave me and my beloved club alone, I’ll take my chances with the vultures. Go. And don’t look back. You need to get over me.

This post inspired by the music of The Misfits’ “Die, Die, Die, My Darling”

Our next match is a friendly

AC Milan vs. Manchester United

Wednesday, July 25^th • 8:00pm PDT

at the StubHub Center in Los Angeles, CA, USA