Inter 1, Milan 0: DOA

I type letters endlessly to fill a post, but sometimes, there really are no words. Milan getting it right for 90 minutes only to be pronounced dead in stoppage time. The Derby takes no prisoners, and bragging rights don’t care when or how the game was won. For all intents and purposes, we may as well have been Dead On Arrival.

Subs and tactics were DOA

Icardi thought he’d scored in the twelfth minute, but in a delicious bit of irony, Vecino got a touch on it, making it offside. More ironic, Vecino had been a doubt for this match due to fitness, so thanks for being fit, Vecino. In the 18th minute, Biglia and Nainggolan clashed in a bad way. Initially, it looked like Biglia had gotten the worst of it, plus the yellow card, with Nainggolan stepping on his foot and more. But in the end, Nainggolan had to be subbed off about ten minutes later and was eventually taken to the hospital for tests. Normally, I am concerned about human beings who get injured. But people who play for Inter are less than human, so thank you Biglia. For this match, for Barcelona, and however many other matches he misses. (Yes, I am a terrible person, but at least I’m not an Interista.)

Kessie takes no prisoners

Two other comically noteworthy moments in the first half included Kessie shoving Asamoah into Valero, they both went down like bowling pins. I love Kessie so much. And Guida got in Politano’s way in the 37th minute, Milan’s twelfth man, if only for a second. Bravo. It is also worth pointing out that Guida did an amazing job reffing the Derby, he kept complete control of the match and made solid calls.

Romagnoli had an amazing block on Icardi in the 40th. Our captain was massive on the night. And then Musacchio scored a goal that was called back for offside in the 42nd. A tough pill to swallow, followed not long after by yellows for Calhanoglu and Calabria.

Almost

In the second half, we started to crumble around the edges. Donnarumma made a clearance on Biglia, who sent a backpass that was reminiscent of our benched former captain. In the 61st, Suso earned himself a yellow for a frustrated foul on Asamoah after he had nutmegged the Inter player, but was unable to capitalize on his brilliance. Gattuso waited until the 74th to make a sub, when he brought on Cutrone for Calhanoglu. A good sub, but wrong tactics, because he was not able to do much in the 4-3-3. If you’ll remember, it was bringing him on 20 minutes earlier and switching to the 4-4-2 that made the difference before.

I mean the kid was rocking that right side... why, Gattuso, why?

That’s not all that Gattuso got wrong, either. In the 84th, he pulled off Kessie, who had been massive all game (not just the bowling,) and brought on Bakayoko. Bakayoko’s contribution was to get Milan’s fifth yellow of the game just five minutes after being on the pitch. And as if that wasn’t enough to weaken Milan when it mattered most, Gattuso pulled off Calabria, who had also been great all night, and put on Abate.

One minute later, Icardi scored. From the same side Gattuso’s incomprehensible subs were playing. 1-0 Inter. One unsuccessful free kick for Milan later, and the game was final. Milan may as well have been DOA.

At least the Curva Sud never disappoints in the Derby

We managed one shot on target. Inter dominated in both fouls and possession. And against all odds, we held them back for 91 minutes. Icardi had barely touched the ball, then with two really poor and untimely subs, he slithered between Musacchio and the less than one minute fresh Abate for the kill. Sure, Inter played better. Their owners have flushed €500,000 down the toilet that is their club in the last two years. And with some creative accounting, they’ve managed to enter year four of a three year FFP agreement. But for all of Milan’s problems with ownership and more the past two years, we had enough grinta in the tank to at least keep a clean sheet. Only with Gattuso’s bizarre subs and tactics, Milan were DOA.

This post inspired by the music of Bauhaus’ “Bela Lugosi’s Dead”

Our next match is

Europa League

AC Milan vs. Real Betis

Thursday, October 25 • 6:55pm CEST (12:55pm EDT)