Milan-Juventus Preview: Doomsday

Milan fans would probably prefer to not be playing at all this week, especially with so many injuries. But as our luck would have it, we face the toughest team in the league on Sunday. Which also happens to be the team with the most accused rapists in Serie A. But always professional on the pitch, mind you. Vastly outmatched both physically and in poor character, Milan will probably have a starting line up of Primavera players and cousins and uncles and such, since nearly all of our starters are injured. And facing a team with as much quality as it lacks in class and basic human decency, it can only spell our doomsday.

Alienating all the fans

Juventus win a lot. Except in the Champions League, they have lost as many finals as Milan have won. This week, they lost to Manchester United 2-1 midweek, and it wasn’t even a final. But that probably really made them angry, so they will undoubtedly take it out on us. Kicking someone when they’re down is something they would absolutely do, anyway. For their loss midweek, Allegri lined up: Szczesny; De Sciglio, Bonucci, Chiellini, Sandro; Cuadrado, Khedira, Pjanic, Bentancur; Dybala and Ronaldo. He will be missing Can, I believe, and likely Kean and Costa to injury. Bernardeschi is in doubt, but Mandzukic should be available after returning from injury.

Gattuso will have a tough time fielding 11 players. His current longterm injury list includes: Strinic, Caldara, Biglia, and Musacchio. Bonaventura and Calabria are injured enough to be in doubt tomorrow. Calhanoglu, Kessie, Higuain, and Cutrone are injured, but will likely play anyway just because we don’t have enough other players. That is nine of our starting 11 injured on some level. Nine. Something is seriously wrong. (I had some ideas about it on the last podcast.)

The quintessentially injured player's comeback being marred by controversy

Also, there is the curious case of Conti, who received a three match ban while playing for the Primavera last week. His emergency appeal was refused, and Milan issued a public statement questioning the decision and also wanting clarification on the behavior of the ref in that match. He reportedly abused some of the youth players for things that were beyond their control, and that is why Conti reportedly got upset. Maldini did, too, but his ban was reduced to a €1,000 fine instead. I had read that Conti’s ban only applied to Primavera matches, but I haven’t seen anything official. Even if he is still not fit to start in a Serie A match, I am not clear as to whether or not Conti will be available at all for this game.

"The players that are left standing are fired up" #FakeQuotes

With that many missing and wounded players, as well as the impending threat that Montolivo could play, this game is practically an end of the world scenario. I wish we could just borrow some players from Serie C or something to prevent more injuries, our fate in this match is already spelled out. Unless, of course, as I pointed out on Twitter, we can convince Juventus that this is a Champions League final. Then we would undoubtedly win. But even if their club are void of all morals and human decency, they are not stupid. So with prayers for no new injuries, I will close my eyes tightly and tiptoe toward Milan’s Doomsday.

This post inspired by the music of R.E.M.’s “It’s the End of the World as We Know It”

Serie A Week 12

Milan vs. Juventus

Sunday, November 11 • 20:30 CET (2:30pm EST)

This match can be streamed LIVE on ESPN+ in the U.S.