Supercoppa • Juventus-Milan Preview: Third Tier

This is supposed to be an epic matchup, a game that both entertains and is sporting. With Milan in the mix, that was already in question. However, the game itself is overshadowed by serious questions about human rights and gender discrimination in Saudi Arabia. For example, as a woman, if I were to attend this match, I would not be able to sit pitchside or even close at all. Because women are only allowed to sit in the third tier.

Livin' large

To be fair, sitting as far away from Allegri’s whiny voice is a blessing. Juventus have won like everything for forever, I think they’re even expected to take top honors at the Oscars without even being nominated, and yet Allegri’s voice is still more annoying than the incessant winning. Most recently, they dispatched Sampdoria 2-1 just before the break. For that match, the weasel-face lined up Perin; De Sciglio, Rugani, Chiellini, Sandro; Can, Pjanic, Matuidi; Dybala, Mandzukic, and Ronaldo. He will be missing Cuadrado, Benatia, Barzagli, and Mandzukic to injury, but will have Cancelo back from his injury. Not that any of those injuries will impact them much, their bench is so deep I’m not even sure Allegri knows all of their names.

Women would be wise not to go to the stadium at all to see Milan play. Unless Cutrone pulls off a couple of more insanely beautiful goals like he did on Saturday. Then they would want to be up front for sure. Gattuso is so lost as to what is going on with his team that he doesn’t even understand why a player like Higuain would want to get out now before he destroys his career even more or gets seriously injured. To his credit, Gattuso did figure out two impact subs on Saturday, which won us the game. However they weren’t until extra time. And Juventus will not likely afford us the luxury of extra time.

Best to keep the ladies away from him or they're gonna need more DNA samples

Gattuso will still be missing Caldara, Biglia, and Bonaventura to injury. Halilovic was also not called up, rumors are that he is working on a transfer. But Gattuso is still carrying around the dead weight that is Montolivo. If, as Gattuso said on Saturday, he would lock Higuain up and feed him three or four times a day just to keep him at Milan if he could, it would also be nice to imagine locking Montolivo up and just forgetting about him forever.

Milan had to play 30 extra minutes on Saturday, but will have been acclimating in Jeddah for an extra day or two, so maybe that evens out. I don’t think we have much of a chance of winning, but stranger things have happened. Even Montella won this trophy, so it’s not impossible. Sadly, the bigger stories which eclipse the football are the glaring human rights issues and the unabashed discrimination of women. Some broadcasters have threatened not to show the game, which means because of Serie A, everyone misses out. It’s an honor for Milan just to be in this game, but shameful that women can only watch from the third tier.

This post inspired by the music of Lush’s Ladykillers

Supercoppa Final

Juventus vs. Milan

Wednesday, January 16 • 18:30 CET (12:30pm EST)

This match will be shown LIVE on ESPN2 in the U.S.