Milan 0, Inter 2: As You Were

Milan fans everywhere had prayed for a miracle. The Curva Sud even invoked Milan’s patron saint, Saint Ambrose, in their coreo. But he was only able to slay a painted snake. Instead, after standing at attention for 90 minutes plus stoppage time, Milan fans were commanded “as you were.”

Gigio was up for the Derby

“As you were” is a military command used to tell soldiers to relax after standing rigidly at attention or saluting or whatever. For Milan fans, it also applies to our post-derby stance because while we hoped there would be some shock result or some kind of supernatural realization for Giampaolo where everything snapped into place, there was nothing remotely like that at all. After focusing on this match since before the date was announced, we can relax and go back to drinking or whatever to numb our pain. There’s nothing to see here, just go home.

The first half was tense, with a goal for each side, both called back. Milan’s was Calhanoglu, in the 23rd minute, from a Piatek assist. However Kessie was whistled for a handball in the box, so the goal did not stand. Inter’s was in the 36th minute, when D’Ambrosio pulled off a bicycle kick, forcing Gigio into a great save, and Lautaro Martinez was there to follow up the shot and get it past Gigio. Only there was a VAR review which determined Martinez was offside, so that goal was called off, too.

He scored the only Milan goal (that was called back,) and still the Milan fans booed him off. #NeverEnough

The biggest error of the match came when Rodriguez sent in a dangerous backpass, which Martinez attempted to pounce on, with Gigio barely able to save it. D’Ambrosio had a rebound of a Sensi shot that hit the post in the 21st, and Leao sent in a nice cross to Piatek, who headed it over in the final minute of the first half. Kessie was down injured for a while, it looked like his shoulder, but then got back up and fought the rest of the match.

The second half… where to begin? Giampaolo actually made three subs. Congratulations, Mister! Other than that, where most of the first half, one could believe that Milan were capable of holding Inter at bay, it was made clear less than five minutes into this half that they could not.

Not Suso's best game

Brozovic took the shot from a corner, which deflected off of Leao and into the back of the net. Doveri used VAR to review the goal, because it very much appeared that Lautaro Martinez was definitely offside and at least attempted to be involved in the play. But the VAR review disagreed with what I saw, so the goal stood. 1-0 Inter. The real goal was pretty, a Lukaku header from a Barella cross. No VAR required, it was 2-0 Inter.

Giampaolo lined up a 4-3-3, keeping everyone, including himself, guessing as to what system he will use this season, even though it is week four. He did find Leao on the bench and start him, probably just so we couldn’t say that he started no new starters. But other than that, he lined 10 of the same players Gattuso had for the last Derby, in the same formation, and expected different results. So it’s confirmed, he’s genuinely insane.

"In the devil we trust"

All of our stress, tension, nausea, and vomiting were all for naught. In the end, the team that spent more money on players and coaches prevailed. There’s a shock. And the team with the coach who is more like a blind man throwing darts in the dark lost. Oh well. At least 70,000 people were at the San Siro to see Curva Sud’s gorgeous coreografia, “In the Devil we trust.” I would fly to Italy just to see that. Other than that, it’s business as usual for another Derby. As you were.

This post inspired by the music of Muse’s “Psycho”

Our next match is

Serie A Week 5

Torino vs. Milan

Thursday, September 26 • 21:00 CEST (3pm EDT)